


Meant To Be

by ReluctantHero



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Adult Eren Yeager, Adult Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Alternate Universe - Office, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Bottom Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Child Eren Yeager, Child Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), Endgame Levi/Eren Yeager, First Love, Fluffy Smut, Friends to Lovers, Levi and Eren meet as children, M/M, Minor Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Minor Krista/Levi, Minor Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Office AU, Rating changed to Explicit for smut in last chapter, Smut, Top Eren Yeager, Unrequited Love, WARNING: Jean/Eren more than minor, inspirations drawn from real life fiction and my own imagination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:26:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23864485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReluctantHero/pseuds/ReluctantHero
Summary: When Eren saw Levi, it was love at first sight.Eren's happiness doesn't come without a struggle; nothing worth having ever does.After all, falling in love is the easy part
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 95
Kudos: 145





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I received a great response from my tiny office fic. You have no idea how much that meant to me <3  
> So I decided to write some more.
> 
> This fic also has some elements of the office since comments on the short fic inspired me to write this.  
> There are also parts inspired by my own Jr.High/1st crush experience and of course some good ol' Ereri angst  
> (used to be my specialty, hoping I still got it)
> 
> I originally decide to write this because I have a dark soulmate fic I've been working on and wanted to give you something happy (albeit angsty) to counteract. I ended up getting too involved in this one and decided to post it.
> 
> If you're interested in the dark fic please let me know. I may still finish and post.  
> Note: it will have depression/suicide/etc.  
> I wrote the first 4K words in December, while in a very dark place.  
> (Sorry TMI but..) I have since been medicated and let go of some things keeping me down - therefore there will be some editing and likely a happier ending than was originally planned.
> 
> Anyway, I'm exited to write again and I hope you enjoy!

It started when he was thirteen.

“Mom, I’m going to be late for the bus,” Eren grumbled, trying to wiggle his way free from her grasp as she straightened out his coat and smoothed down his hair.

“Oh stop, you have lots of time,” Carla said before adding, “I want a picture of your first day of Junior High.”

“Last year was my first year of Junior High,” Eren said.

“That didn’t count, the school was K to 7,” Carla said, picking up her camera.

“Then why did you take a picture of my first day of Junior High last year?” Eren mumbled.

“Eren, amuse your mother please,”  Grisha said from the hallway, a bowl of cereal in his hand.

“Alright fine,” Eren said, putting on a sweet smile and posing for his mother.

“Perfect,” Carla smiled, snapping the photo.

“Zeke! Come get a picture with your brother!” She called to her  16 year old step son.

“Seriously?” Zeke asked, poking his head from the bathroom with a toothbrush hanging from his mouth, eyes glancing toward  Grisha before falling in defeat, “Alright, one sec.”

“Hurry up! I’m going to miss the bus!” Eren yelled as Zeke spit loudly into the sink and rushed out to the porch where placed an arm around his little brother. The both smiled sweetly for the picture before  Grisha spotted the bus coming up the street from the window. Eren took off out of the house with a wave and ran toward the designated bus stop in the bakery parking lot, a few lots up.

Eren made it just as the bus stopped, lining up behind the few other kids at the same stop and climbing on.

His eyes scanned the near empty bus, a couple familiar faces of kids from the stop before. Unused to being an early stop and even more unused to the bus not being filled with loud elementary children, he was happy to take advantage of the wide variety of seating options.

He decided on the third seat from the back, close enough to the others that he might become part of the conversation, though not so close to intrude. After all, they didn’t know each other yet. Isabel, a red headed girl from his grade gave him a quiet nod of recognition as he sat, though the ninth graders she was with continued their conversation.

Eren looked out of the window as the bus continued to the next stop. He was nervous, he couldn’t deny it. It was his second year without his two best friends. With their school being rebuilt due to mold and asbestos; their grades had been scattered throughout the nearby districts.

Armin and Mikasa had both gone into late French Immersion at Queen Cena Jr. 

Armin lived in the zone for QC so he would have had to go regardless, but Mikasa lived next door to Eren however, French Immersion was only offered at QC. While they went to an actual Junior High School, Eren had moved from one Elementary school to another with a Grade 7, seemingly missing out on an actual Junior high experience. 

This year was different. This year he was being sent to St. Ymir; an old school in the downtown area that had been closed for years, reopening while the new school was being built. He was nervous, but his excitement for a new school in a new area, with new kids in his proper age group definitely overshadowed.

Then the bus stopped on the next street over and Eren’s world changed forever.

The house they stopped in front of had a steep driveway, giving Eren a perfect view of the boy walking down toward the bus. He was beautiful; pale skin, dark eyes, and silky black hair.

Eren stared with wide eyes as the boy climbed onto the bus, a smirk on his face has he made his way to the back to his welcoming friends. Eren’s heart all but stopped when the boy sat in the empty space of  _ his  _ seat. 

All of Eren’s bravery and ambitions to join into the conversation and make friends, flew out the door when the boy sat beside him. Curling into himself and hugging his bag tight to his chest while glancing between the window and the boys back as he was turned away from Eren and speaking with the others.

Eren eavesdropped a little on the conversation, though with his pulse pounding in his ears it was impossible to follow. He could tell the boy was friends with the others, especially Isabel who seemed extra excited to be in the same school as him again. 

It was a long ride to school, with many stops throughout the town before heading to the city. Eren barely noticed any of it with the boy still sitting beside him. They didn’t speak, Eren didn’t catch his name, their only interaction was a quick glance and a small smile from the boy as he picked up his bag and made his way off the bus. Eren was sure his cheeks were flaming red as smiled back a little too late, and followed the crowd off of the bus.

Eren thought about the boy for the rest of the day, searching for a glimpse of him in the hallway between classes. He didn’t have much luck on that part, not only was the boy short, but the old school was too small for its current capacity of student. It was almost impossible to move or even look around outside of the regular flow of traffic to the next class. But it was the first day, he had time to discover who this boy way; the first boy to ever make his heart stutter.

It only took a few days to learn that the boy’s name was Levi, he was in ninth grade and his homeroom was on the 3 rd floor, he didn’t smile much and was quiet compared to his friends, but he seemed nicer than his neutral face let off. Eren considered asking Isabel about Levi since the two seemed close and Isabel happened to be in Eren’s homeroom this year, but his shyness over the boy took over and he chickened out. Instead he would watch the beautiful boy from afar, usually the bus. Eren normally couldn’t get close to him on the ride home in the afternoons, but even without ever uttering a word to each other, Levi sat beside him in the third seat from the back, every morning. 

“Hey, let’s go for a walk,” Eren insisted one Saturday afternoon as he, Armin, and Mikasa played video games in his room. 

“You want to go for a walk?” Mikasa asked, skeptically.

“Yes, it’s nice out! We could run down to the gas station for a  slushie ,” Eren suggested.

“Don’t you usually ask Zeke to drive you down? For  _ practice _ .” Armin said, air quoting ‘practice’.

“Well today I want to walk,” Eren said getting frustrated.

“You just want to walk by the house of the boy you like,” Armin chuckled, putting down his controller.

“What boy?” Mikasa perked up.

Busted.

“Thanks Armin,” Eren grumbled. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to tell Mikasa about the boy he liked, she was just overprotective and Eren didn’t feel like being interrogated over his first crush. Especially when he didn’t even know his own feelings well enough to explain where they had come from or why they were so strong for a boy he barely knew.

“Eren has a crush on a boy from school. They sit together on the bus,” Armin grinned.

“You have a boyfriend and you didn’t tell me?” Mikasa asked, a little hurt lacing her shock.

“He’s not my boyfriend!” Eren insisted. “We don’t actually speak, he just... sits in my seat in the mornings.”

“Okay. That’s kind of cute I guess,” Mikasa said, the hurt falling away as she seemed to believe him. “Let’s go then.”

“I’ll go, but you’re buying me a  slushie ,” Armin said, getting up and pulling on one of Eren’s hoodies – he liked wearing Eren’s clothes, they were far less dorky than those his Grandfather bought for him.

The three went their side and began walking in the direction of the gas station. Eren refused to tell them which house was Levi’s, though it wasn’t hard to tell when they were coming up onto it as Eren’s step slowed and his cheeks tinted pink.

“Wait... this house? Is it Levi?” Mikasa asked, pointing to Levi’s home.

“How do you know him?!” Eren gasped in horror.

“Levi  _ Ackerman _ , my cousin.” Mikasa stated.

“If he’s your cousin and lived one street over from us, how have I never met him before?” Eren exclaimed.

“We’re not that close. He used to live down our road on one of the side streets and went to the school you were in last year. They moved over here about a year ago when Aunt Kuchel married Mr. Smith.” Mikasa explained and Eren remembered Mikasa mentioning something about her Aunt getting married the year before.

“Still,” Eren mumbled.

“Well I didn’t know you were going to fall in love with him. Do you want to see if he’ll come to the gas station with us?” She asked.

“No!” Eren stammered, unsure if he’d be able to handle actually spending time with the beautiful boy.

“No? Wouldn’t that be the perfect excuse?” Armin questioned.

“No! Maybe... I don’t know!” Eren said, pulling at his hair as his heart pounded in his chest.

“Well make up your mind, because we look pretty ridiculous standing out here on the street,” Armin said.

“No, let’s just go,” Eren said, realizing that Armin was right and he definitely didn’t want Levi to catch him just standing outside of his house like an idiot.

Though as luck would have it, as they continued down the street a bit farther, the sound of clacking and hard wheels rolling over pavement made its way to their ears. As they came in view of the side street just down from Levi’s home, Eren’s heart stopped altogether.

As if he didn’t find Levi to be attractive enough as it was, the sight of him on a skateboard had finished Eren off. With wide eyes he stared at the boy, watching him jump and flip his skateboard over the obstacles set up on the quiet side street.

He wasn’t alone, there were a couple other boys with him that Eren barely noticed, all laughing and having a pretty good time. Mikasa waved to Levi when he finally noticed them, jumping on his skateboard and rolling toward them.

“Hey Mikasa, what’s up?” He asked

“Nothing, just going for a  slushie , want to come?” She asked. Eren watched from a couple steps behind her, almost hiding from his crush as they spoke, though he didn’t miss when Levi’s eyes glanced toward him and flickered with recognition.

“Hey, you’re on my bus,” He said and Eren’s face set on fire, hoping the fall chill would be blamed for his colorful face.

“Y-yeah, I am.” He stammered like an idiot and assumed his had ruined it all when Levi turned back toward his friends.

“ Yo , Erwin! I’m hanging with my cousin for a bit,” Levi called with a wave. The tall blond who Eren assumed was Erwin waved back with an inaudible response and turned back to their group.

Levi picked up his skateboard and fell in step with them as they continued through the subdivision toward the gas station.

“So, how’s Queen C,” Levi asked.

“It’s alright, the bus ride is long but the school is nice, and I like French immersion so far,” Mikasa explained. 

“Awesome. Our bus ride is long too, at least the new school will be ready for you next year.” Levi said.

“And you’ll be in high school so you won’t even see it” Mikasa laughed.

“Right, two years in that rickety building downtown and I don’t even get the benefits,” Levi chuckled.

“I haven’t seen you before,” Levi said turning to Armin, “Do you go to Queen C too?”

“Yeah, I’m in Mikasa’s class, but I live in the zone for it too,” Armin explained.

“They left you all alone?” Levi smirked back at Eren.

“Yeah... French isn’t really my strong point.” Eren confessed.

“It’s not for everyone,” Levi shrugged, stepping back in line with Eren.

“So, seat buddy. I’m sorry I didn’t get your name,” He said.

“Oh. It’s E- eren ,” he said nervously.

“Sorry if it seems like I ignore you on the bus. I’m a little shy with new people,” Levi confessed quietly.

“No, no it’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Eren smiled brightly, Levi’s eyes lingering on his face for a few seconds before turning back and engaging in the group conversation with the others.

Eren didn’t say much on their walk, his newfound shyness taking over in such proximity to his crush, but it was still the greatest afternoon of his life. Levi wasn’t very talkative either, mostly responding to Mikasa and Armin’s conversation, but always making a point to lock eyes with Eren throughout.

“So, what’s the best  slushie flavor?” Levi asked, stepping up beside Eren with his empty cup in hand. 

“I usually mix red and blue,” Eren said with a shy smile. 

“Red and Blue it is then,” Levi smiled back, pulling the handle of the blue while Eren went for red before switching.

“Good choice,” Levi smiled after taking a slip and going up to pay.

They walked back quietly, sipping on their drinks. Armin and Mikasa talking about something that had happened in class while Eren and Levi followed behind.

“We should do this again sometime,” Levi said as they neared on his house.

“Yeah, that would be nice,” Eren smiled.

“Alright well, Mikasa don’t be a stranger. Armin, it was nice to meet you, and Eren. I’ll see you on the bus,” Levi said breaking off from the group and heading up his driveway with a wave.

Eren’s heart fluttered as he waved back, the rest of the walk home filled with teasing remarks and sly grins from his two best friends.

Eren and Levi’s relationship changed only slightly after that. Levi would always make a point of saying good morning to Eren before sitting beside him on the bus, though he normally still turned toward his friends for the ride. Eren was too shy to engage when the others were involved, and Levi was either shy as well like he had said, or he didn’t want Eren included. 

Eren didn’t want to think of the latter, Levi seemed too nice to do something like that.  Of course, he could have been too nice to say it even though he felt it... But Eren thought the idea of Levi also being shy was cute and his poor crushing heart wouldn’t allow himself to think anything other than the best of Levi.

The school year continued; Levi sat beside Eren in the mornings, until assigned seating was implemented in January. Apparently, the other kids on the bus weren’t well behaved – Eren hadn’t noticed. Except for an occasional smell of cigarette smoke and flying garbage.

Eren ended up being assigned to a seat with Annie from another Grade 8 class and Hitch from 9 th . He didn’t talk to them much, but they were small so the three of them in one seat wasn’t too unpleasant for the long ride. Though he’d be lying if he said he wouldn’t rather being smushed into the window with Levi beside him. 

Eren’s contact with Levi was low. They never quite developed the friendship Eren had hoped for. He was sure his shyness the main factor getting in the way. Levi still acknowledged him; mostly with a friendly nod or a small smile, and always waved if they saw each other on the street. Levi still made Eren’s heart beat uncontrollably whenever he saw him, his crush growing stronger each time rather than wilting away with the standstill of their relationship.

“Eren, it’s Summer. Why are you moping?” Armin asked, laying across Eren’s bed with his head hanging off the side in a show of absolute boredom.

“I’m not,” Eren defended.

“Yes, you are. If you want to see Levi so bad, you know where he lives,” Armin said.

“I can’t do that!” Eren exclaimed.

“Then get Mikasa to do it,” Armin suggested and Eren didn’t answer. It was an idea, but how dumb would he look hiding behind Mikasa every time he wanted to spend time with Levi. She had been the one to ask the few times Levi had joined them for a walk, he could never be the one to make the first move.

There was always the last day of school... they still had a half day to pick up their report cards in the next week. He still had one more bus ride... 

“We could go see a movie,” Eren suggested, not wanting to talk about Levi anymore.

“Yeah sure, I’ll call Mikasa,” Armin said, rolling over and reaching for Eren’s landline phone while Eren went to look for a ride.

He found Zeke in the kitchen with books scattered over the table; high school exams were still going on; high school didn’t finish for another week.

“Hey Zeke, think you could drive us to the mall?” Eren asked.

“Sorry Kid, balls deep in Bio. Exam is on Monday,” Zeke said not even looking up until his friend walked into the room, holding a cell phone.

“Hey, my brother found my notes, he’s on his way,” the tall, somewhat familiar blond said, before noticing Eren.

“Awesome!” Zeke said, highlighting a line on the page he was reading. “Oh hey, this is my little brother Eren.” He added.

“Hello, I’m Erwin,” The blond introduced, “I’ve seen you before, I think you know my Step-brother, Levi.”

“Oh, yes.  Yes I do... sort of.” Eren said, mentally panicking over the fact he was speaking to Levi’s older brother... who had just said Levi was dropping off his note... unless he had another brother?

“Cool, well we should get back to studying,” Erwin said, sitting back to the table with Zeke.

“I can bring you out later if you still want to go,” Zeke said as Eren turned to leave the room.

“Yeah no worries,” Eren said, just as the there was a knock in the door.

“I got it!” He called, rushing over and taking a deep breath before opening the door to find Levi on his step with a skateboard in one hand and a binder in the other.

“Eren! Hi,” Levi said in surprise, “Is my brother here? Or do I have the wrong house?” he asked, taking a  step back to look at the house number.

“No, he’s here, come in,” Eren said, moving to the side and showing Levi to the kitchen where their brothers were studying.

“So, Armin, Mikasa, and I were thinking of going to see a movie... would you like to come?” Eren asked with every ounce of courage he could muster as he led Levi back to the front door; holding his breath as he waited for an answer.

“Oh, um I would, but I’m heading to the skatepark,” Levi said awkwardly, and Eren tried not to let the disappointment show on his face as Levi looked up at him.

“Oh, no that sounds cool. Better than a movie, plus I don’t even know if we have a ride yet,” Eren excused.

“No, I mean a movie sounds great, there’s just this skate competition today and I already signed up. Isabel is already down there waiting for me,” Levi explained as Armin came down the hall.

“A skate competition? That sounds awesome,” He said with a smile.

“Yeah? You guys could come... if you want,” Levi said, looking up into Eren’s eyes shyly.

“Yes! That would be great,” Eren said perking up and making a mental note to worship at Armin’s feet later, or maybe buy him a band shirt of his own.

“Awesome! Mikasa is actually hanging with Sasha today so it’s just us. Let’s go,” Armin said, slipping on his shoes and heading out the door. Eren and Levi walking closely behind.

Eren had never been to a Skate Competition before, this one was low key, mostly just kids from the town; but Eren found it fascinating. He had always been a fan of skateboarders, but never knew much about it. He loved watching them fly over the ramps and half pipes, showing off their tricks and special moves while the crowds cheered.

He especially liked watching Levi. 

Levi wasn’t the best skater in the lineup, he didn’t win or even place in the top, but to Eren he was amazing. He watched in awe as Levi completed his set and praised him incessantly when the short boy walked over with a bashful smile; embarrassed over his performance. Eren especially liked the look on his face in that moment.

Levi and Isabel walked them home after the event. Eren had told them it wasn’t necessary, not wanting to put Levi out or have him miss spending time with some of his skater friends. But Levi was insistent since he had been the one to invite them, which in turn made Eren’s cheeks burn with his stifled smile.

Isabel tried to teach Armin some small tricks in Eren’s driveway as they waited for Armin’s Grandfather to pick him up. Armin was terrible but looked like he was having a good time. Once his ride arrived, Isabel headed home as well; leaving Eren and Levi alone on the grass, watching the sky darken.

“Did you have fun today?” Levi asked.

“Yeah, it was great, thank you for inviting me!” Eren grinned, Levi’s pale skin looking even more beautiful in the dim twilight.

“Of course. Sorry I wasn’t very impressive,” Levi laughed awkwardly.

“You were awesome! I wish I could skate like that,” Eren exclaimed.

“I could... teach you. You know, if you wanted,” Levi said, not meeting Eren’s eyes as his picked at the grass beside him.

“That would be really cool,” Eren said, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. All the months of watching Levi from afar on the bus and in school; treasuring the fleeting moments when they actually spoke to each other; Eren never thought he would share a moment like this with Levi.

Maybe this was the turning point in their relationship, maybe they could develop a great friendship, or even build into something incredible. At the very least, Eren knew it was going to be a great summer.

It was a great Summer; filled with good times, great friendships, and unspoken young love. Even if the love had been one sided, Eren looked back fondly on that Summer for years afterward.

Especially on slow afternoons in the office, while Eren ignored his paperwork and spent his time hanging with the receptionist; making jokes, discussing gossip, and sharing annoyed looks each time the phone interrupted their conversation. With an eye roll and light smirk, reception would answer:

“Pixis Enterprises, this is Levi” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm pretty rusty but I'd love to know what you think
> 
> <3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy - Back with another chapter!  
> Haven't gotten a lot of interest in this one but the feedback I have gotten has been really great.  
> You guys are honestly the best <3<3
> 
> ***WARNING:: EREN X JEAN***
> 
> I know a lot of people don't like Erejean, or at least don't want it in their Ereri fics.  
> (I assume the lack of interest is partially due to this - which I understand completely and am un-offended)  
> So I want to give you all a heads up: There is going to be heavy moments of Erejean relationship.   
> It's not abusive, there's no cheating, and Jean is not the bad guy.   
> It's all for progression of the plot
> 
> Sorry, I don't usually like giving so much away, but I know that some people really don't like those type of surprises.  
> If you're uncomfortable and don't want to continue, there are no hard feelings :)
> 
> If you do continue, then please enjoy!

Eren backed off a little while Levi answered the phone, pretending to find something interesting on the edge of the desk while he waited. It was always fun to stay within earshot of Levi answering the phone, especially on Friday afternoons when the population was at its dumbest and Levi’s patience had already worn thin.

He wasn’t rude or disrespectful to whoever was on the other end; he was actually quite friendly and professional as he tried to help them with their problems or transfer to someone who could. But the way his voice flattened when he was speaking to someone particularly inept, or how his head hung in defeat while the speaker told him their whole life story; Eren found it hilarious.

“Thank god that’s over,” Levi groaned, hanging up the phone and looking back up at Eren, “Any big plans for the weekend?”

“Not really, Jean has a work event tonight,” Eren shrugged.

“You sound excited,” Levi smirked making Eren chuckle, it was hard to hide from Levi.

“Nah, it’ll be fun, his coworkers are just... excitable,” Eren explained.

“Much like ours?” Levi asked, eyeing the other around the room.

“Yes, but less interesting,” Eren laughed again, staring into Levi eyes for a moment; enjoying the sparkle they held whenever the two joked together. 

“Think I’m going to take off a few minutes early, I’ll see you Monday,” Eren said, feeling suddenly awkward.

“Yeah, have a good weekend,” Levi smiled as Eren went back to his desk and ready to leave.

Obviously, Eren’s life didn’t turn out how he thought it would when he was thirteen years old. Though how often did anyone’s life turn into what they imagined during their teenage years?

If Eren had been asked that day after the skate competition, where he thought he would be in 15 years; he’d probably say Famous. A movie star, with a huge house, a fancy car, and most importantly; a skate park in the backyard where Levi would practice his pro-skating career.

Eren laughed when he thought about it. He had been so optimistic that summer, and honestly it had been the best summer of his life. 

He and Levi had become inseparable during that Summer; spending nearly every day together and chatting even more. Eren showed Levi some of his favorite movies and video games, Levi taught Eren how to stand on a skateboard – he had attempted a little more but Eren didn’t take to it that well.

Levi would come around to the Jaeger-Ackerman backyard BBQ’s, and Eren was always invited on weekend trips to Mr. Smith’s cabin. He and Levi would compete over who could do the best flip off the wharf at the lake just behind the cabin.

Eren didn’t confess his love for Levi during that summer; he was too young to know what love even was. His time with Levi wasn’t about his romantic feelings for the smaller boy, it was about their growing friendship and the warmth Eren felt while they were together. 

Sometimes it seemed as though Levi felt the same way toward Eren as he did for Levi. Even years later, Eren would smile when the thought of those moments. Levi sitting a little too close on the grass as they watched the sun set, Levi’s eyes lingering on him a little too long when he thought Eren wasn’t looking, and just the way Levi smiled at him more than he did for anyone else.

As happy as those memories made Eren, they stung equally hard.

Eren never knew what had happened between himself and Levi. Their friendship had ended almost as fast as it had started. There was never an argument or a falling out; Eren, as far as he knew, had never done anything to hurt or upset Levi. Everything was fine until it wasn’t. 

Levi began distancing himself not long after the school year had started. Eren’s mom suggested it might have been because Levi was in High School while Eren was still in Jr. High. But wouldn’t his relationship with Isabel have been affected too?

He later learned that Levi’s classmates were making comments about their relationship. His heart broke when he discovered Levi had distanced himself from Eren just to avoid being called his boyfriend. 

Things were different 15 years ago. People were generally not as accepting as they are now; being gay was a cause for ridicule and embarrassment. Eren learned first-hand when he came out in senior year, but the cruel jokes and comments were nothing compared to the hurt of losing  Levi.

Levi moved away after graduation, following his brother across the Country. Eren felt lost all over again; not only was he not friends with Levi, he no longer saw him in the hallways at school or walking toward the sandwich shop where he had worked. Levi was out of his life altogether, and Eren could do nothing but move on. 

Moving on wasn’t too difficult. Out of sight, out of mind for the most part. It wasn’t as though Levi had broken up with him; they had never been dating, and their friendship had ended three years before. Eren would still think about Levi on occasion; wondering where he was or what he was doing. But eventually the sadness faded away and Eren chose to remember only the fond memories of their summer together.

That was until Levi showed up for his first day of work in Eren’s office...

He was beautiful. Even more beautiful than Eren had remembered. The moment Eren looked up from his desk and locked eyes with his former friend, everything came flooding back. His  thirteen year old crush, the summer that they had spent together, and all of the pain he had felt when Levi wanted nothing more to do with him. It crippled him for a moment, rendering him speechless and barely able to give anything more than an awkward wave of recognition.

“Hi,” Eren has said, walking up to the reception desk once Levi had gotten settled in his new workspace; to be met with a sweet smile and a friendly ‘Hello’.

“It’s been a while,” Eren smiled back, “When did you come back?”

“A few weeks ago. Mom hadn’t been doing so well since my step dad died. Decided to stay with her for a while,” Levi explained. 

“I’m sorry,” Eren said sympathetically, “Well it’s good to see you, despite the circumstances.”

“It’s good to see you too. We should catch up some time,” Levi suggested.

“That would be great,” Eren smiled softly before heading back to his desk.

They never did get together to catch up; at least not after work. They did however begin talking regularly at work, getting to know each other in the break room during lunch or during short conversations throughout the day when Eren would wander up to  reception .

Their relationship was tentative at first; Eren holding himself back due to their rocky past, and Levi seeming to be a little shy and holding back as well. Eren wouldn’t ask about it. Maybe Levi was just like that, he had always been sky and awkward around others; or maybe Levi was nervous that Eren still had feelings for him. Eren refused to believe that; it had been years and Levi knew as well as Eren did, that it had just been a childish crush.

However, Eren did make sure to slip in a few details of his relationship with Jean. At least that way Levi would know for sure that Eren’s intentions for their relationship were purely platonic – and to remind himself of that fact whenever he felt himself slipping into Levi’s molten grey eyes. He refused to think of the implications of that statement.

Their friendship flourished during their time working together; especially when they discovered their mutual love for pranking their co-workers. Levi didn’t take part much at first; not knowing their co-workers well enough, but he always found himself in a fit of giggles whenever one of Eren’s plans followed through. Soon he began helping and evening thinking of some of the ideas.

They especially enjoyed pulling pranks on Floch; he was the easiest one to get and had the best reactions. Levi had to hide behind his desk the day Eren showed up dressed exactly like the other man, down to the curled bangs.

Levi refused to come up until Floch had left the room in a fit of rage. Eren pulled Levi up in a fit of his own laughter while Levi wiped the tears from his eyes and tried to catch his breath. It was that day, while Levi looked up at him with red cheeks and an uncommonly wide smile, that Eren realized he had fallen in love with Levi all over again.

That had been months ago and Eren refused to say the words out loud. He refused to even acknowledge it. It was too dumb to even think about. He and Levi were friends and nothing more, Eren had just allowed his old feelings to attach themselves to his new memories and thoughts of Levi. 

They were friends; nothing more, nothing less. Eren was just glad that Levi had overcome whatever it was that had ended their friendship. Though Eren didn’t hold it against him; Levi had been a teenager, what was more important was how he treated people now and Levi seemed to treat everyone with kindness and acceptance.

Another reason why Eren felt a knot in his stomach whenever Levi was near him, though he had become pretty good at forcing it down. Especially as he walked through the parking lot, only to find Jean waiting for him beside the car.

“What are you doing here?” Eren smiled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and giving him a quick kiss.

“You said you were taking off early,” Jean smiled back,

“I was going to walk,” Eren laughed.

“Too bad, get in.” Jean said with a chuckle and walked around the car to get in.

Eren smiled to himself as Jean pulled the car out and headed home; it wasn’t often that Jean would surprise him like this. He was probably trying to butter him up sine he knew that Eren wasn’t the biggest fan of his work events. Whatever it was, Eren would take it.

Eren had met Jean in University, they hadn’t liked each other much at first but somehow the boy had grown on him. Their constant competition becoming friendly, their arguments turning into playful banter, and their feelings of mere tolerance for each other slowly slipped into acceptance and even desire to be near each other.

Their relationship had never been explosive – other than some of their arguments – it didn’t hit Eren with the same force as seeing Levi walk down that steep driveway years before. He didn’t secretly fall in love with Jean, his heart didn’t ache when he wasn’t around before they got together. They had only gotten together because Eren had helped Jean through a breakup with his high school boyfriend, but that didn’t mean they didn’t fall in love along the way.

They had learned to love each other; falling in love gradually as they learned how to be together with their equally short tempers and strong personalities. Some days it felt like it was all a mistake and they never should have been together, but then most days everything was comfortable. 

Comfortable was nice, but it wasn’t exciting. Eren knew that after years together, he should be happy for a comfortable relationship; but he couldn’t help but think that something was missing. He loved Jean and he enjoyed most of their time together, but it was rare that he ever felt his heart flutter over something Jean said; or smiling randomly from a thought of something Jean had done in the past. 

He was probably selfish to think that way, he was lucky to be in a caring relationship and wasn’t going to throw it away just because he didn’t feel those little sparks of excitement from the beginning. Especially not for fleeting memories of an old, long forgotten crush. 

Besides, Jean did still surprise him sometimes; he wouldn’t be sitting in the car at that moment if he didn’t.

One thing that never surprised Eren was the outcome of Jean’s work events. It always ended up with everyone drunkenly playing pool in the back of the bar. These events were not a regular  occurrence and Jean always seemed to have a great time, so Eren didn’t mind going; but he never actually enjoyed them. Normally he ended up at the bar, nursing a drink and texting Armin and Mikasa.

“Oh, I didn’t order this,” Eren said in surprise as the bartender placed another drink on the counter in front of him. 

“Compliments of that man,” she said, motioning to the other side of the bar.

Eren looked up in confusion, only to find Levi sitting across the bar beside a redhead and giving Eren a small wave. Eren smiled broadly and waved back just as Levi hopped off his stool and made his way over.

“Mind if I join you?” He asked.

“Of course! But what about your friend?” Eren asked, glancing back at the pretty redhead.

“Oh, she’ll be fine. She’s dating the bartender,” Levi explained. 

“ Nevermind then,” Eren chuckled, glancing between the petite redhead and the tall, crazy eyed bar tender. They looked oddly perfect together.

“I thought you had a thing tonight,” Levi said, taking a sip of his drink.

“I do, Jean is over there,” Eren said pointing to the  rambunctious crowd.

“ Ohhh , I see what you meant earlier,” Levi said.

“Yeah,” Eren laughed, “I love him, but I’m glad this only happens once in a while.”

“That’s fair, you don’t have to have everything in common with the people you love,” Levi said.

“So, what brings you out?” Eren asked, sipping his new drink.

“I was bored and Petra wanted to visit  Hange ,” Levi shrugged.

“Lucky me then,” Eren smiled before they settled down into easy  conversation , simple laughs, and  salvaging what had almost been a less than optimal evening.

Eren was so engrossed in his conversation with Levi that he barely noticed the hours slipping away. They had long forgotten about their drinks and were just enjoying  each other's company; so well that Eren offered Levi a ride home after Petra decided to take off. He smiled when Levi agreed without hesitation.

“Hey Baby,” Jean slurred, coming up from behind and wrapping his arms around Eren.

“Hey!” Eren said, jumping in surprise and turning toward his boyfriend.

“Who’s your friend?” Jean asked, looking Levi up and down with unfocused eyes.

“This is Levi, from work. I’ve told you about him,” Eren explained, watching Levi look up at Jean with a shy smile and a quiet ‘Hello’.

“Levi!!” Jean yelled in excitement, catching the attention of  Hange behind the bar and making Levi’s eyes pop wider than Eren had ever seen. The shocked look didn’t last long before Jean pulled Levi into a tight hug. “Nice to meet you!”

“Um Jean, Levi’s not big on hugs,” Eren said, trying to pry his boyfriend off of his co-worker.

“It’s fine,” Levi said, obviously uncomfortable but smiling anyway, “It’s nice to meet you too Jean.”

“You’re cute! Eren, you didn’t tell me he was so cute,” Jean slurred and Eren felt his cheeks turn as red as Levi’s did at the statement.

“M-must have slipped my mind,” Eren lied, hoping Jean didn’t embarrass him too much more.

“You know, I have this co-worker. She’s gorgeous and single,” Jean began as Levi started to protest.

“Krista!” Jean yelled toward his remaining co-workers and Eren groaned quietly with embarrassment and dread that Levi was definitely not going to enjoy having a drunk girl hanging on him.

However, he breathed a sigh of relief when a relatively sober girl with big blue eyes came toward them. Jean was right, she was pretty... very pretty. Eren’s stomach clenched at the thought of her flirting with Levi.

“Krista, this is Levi!” Jean said happily, he was like a proud child when he was drunk.

“Hi Levi,” The girl smiled sweetly, looking a little confused by the situation, “Are you Jean’s boyfriend?”

“No  no no ! Eren is mine, Levi can be your boyfriend,” Jean grinned, wrapping an arm around Eren’s shoulders once more while Eren mouthed an ‘I’m sorry’ to Levi.

“Sorry Krista, I didn’t tell him to do that. We only just met actually,” Levi said, jumping off the bar stool to speak to her properly. She was even shorted than he was and Eren begrudgingly found it adorable.

“It’s alright,” She smiled sweetly, “I’ve been warned about drunk Jean.”

“And on that note, I think it’s time Drunk Jean went home,” Eren said, steadying his boyfriend against himself as he stood  up.

“You know, I think you’re right,” Jean said with a long yawn and laying his head against Eren’s shoulder.

“A good idea,” Krista laughed, “It was nice to meet you Eren and I’ll see you on Monday, Jean.”

“You too,” Eren smiled, gathering up his things while holding on to Jean; nodding a thank you to Levi when he moved to Jean’s other side to help.

“Oh Levi, you’re leaving too? I was hoping we could have a drink,” Krista said.

“O-oh, sorry. Eren is actually my ride,” Levi said.

“I could give you a ride home,” She said flirtatiously and Eren’s heart sank when Levi locked eyes with him, a somewhat pleading look on his face; which Eren took to mean he wanted to stay.

“It’s cool, if you want to stay,” Eren said glancing between Levi and Krista.

“Okay, yeah I guess I can stay, just let me help Eren bring Jean to the car.” Levi said.

“Sure thing,” Krista smiled, jumping up on the empty bar stool to wait.

“What did I tell  ya ,” Jean said as they walked him out to the parking lot, his eyes closed and movements sluggish as his happy drunk turned into sleepy drunk.

“She is really pretty,” Eren said with a smile, trying not to show his distaste. He had no reason to feel this way, especially with his own boyfriend in his arms. It wasn’t fair to Jean and he had to get his feelings under control as soon as possible. He could allow Jean to be hurt because Eren was too stupid  to separate himself from a crush he had had 15 years before.

“She is,” Levi agreed, “I don’t know if she’s my type though,”

“Really?” Eren asked in surprise, Krista seemed like one of those girls that was everyone’s type.

“Yeah, I don’t know. It might be fine,” Levi shrugged as they laid a now sleeping Jean in the back seat of Eren’s car.

“You don’t have to stay, you can come with us now,” Eren offered with a reassuring smile. 

Levi looked up into his eyes for a long moment, before glancing back to Jean asleep in the car, “Nah, I’ll stay. I can get a ride home with Hange anyway.”

“Alright, well then I’ll see you on Monday,” Eren said.

“Okay,” Levi nodded, walking Eren to the driver side of the car, “I had a lot of fun tonight, we should hang out again.”

“I did too,” Eren smiled, unable to reply to the suggestion. Like when they had first reunited, it would probably never happen... and if it did, it probably shouldn’t. Eren was too conflicted by his own thoughts. He wasn’t a cheater; he would never want to hurt Jean like that, but falling in love with someone else, even without acting on it... wasn’t that cheating too?

Eren already knew he was wrong to have the feelings he did for Levi. He fought himself everyday over it, forcing himself to bury them; refusing to acknowledge them and pretending they didn’t exist in hopes that they would eventually disappear. He knew that if he got too close to Levi, it was unlikely those feelings would stay buried and he’s end up hurting Jean and himself.

Levi nodded, looking down at his feet, obviously noticing Eren’s partial response. It pained Eren to think his  omission had hurt Levi, but it was the only thing he could do to keep himself on the correct path.

“See you Monday,” Levi said quietly, taking a step back so Eren could get in the car. However, just as he was about to pull out, Levi stepped back in, knocking on Eren’s window with an unreadable expression.

“I’m sorry,” Levi said quietly after Eren rolled down his window.

“For what? Are you okay?” Eren asked, worried.

“For what I did to you... when we were kids,” Levi said his eyes shining in the dim light of the parking lot. Eren put the car back in park and climbed back out.

“That was so long ago!” Eren said with a reassuring smile, “We were children, I’m not upset anymore.”

“I was stupid. I never wanted to stop being friends with you, but I couldn’t handle the things everyone was saying to me. I was weak and I ruined one of the best friendships I ever had.” Levi said and Eren pulled him into a hug.

“It’s okay Levi, I promise. I understand why you did it, our classmates were cruel. Being gay was not acceptable, so the idea of them saying it when you weren’t, anyone would have tried to distance themselves from that,” Eren explained, holding Levi tight against himself.

“It’s no excuse,” His voice muffled into Eren’s coat and Eren rested his cheek on the top of Levi’s head – ignoring how perfect Levi felt in his arms.

“I forgave you a long time ago, Levi. I’m happy to have you in my life again,” Eren said and Levi finally let go with a nod

“I’m sorry about this too,” He chuckled.

“Don’t be,” Eren smiled, “Now go enjoy your date and tell me all about it on Monday.”

“Okay, have fun with Jean’s inevitable hangover tomorrow,” Levi laughed, taking a step back so Eren could get back into his car.

“Oh, I will,” Eren chuckled, rolling up his window and pulling out of the space with a wave before driving out of the lot. He watched Levi in the rear view mirror, the other man not moving until Eren was clear of the parking lot. 

If Eren hadn’t had mixed feelings before, he certainly did now. His plan to keep his distance from Levi had completely flown out the window the moment Levi had apologized. Eren had wondered for years how Levi had felt when their friendship ended, wondered if he ever thought about Eren, or even missed him. 

Now he knew and it pained him. He wanted his friendship back. He wanted to rebuild what they had had together, grow what they had rekindled since Levi had come back. It had nothing to do with romance or his old crush, it was purely about friendship.

Eren carefully lifted Jean out of the car when they made it home, walking him to their bedroom and gently laying him down. He smiled as Jean sleepily obliged to Eren removing his clothes and tucking him into the bed. Jean was a good boyfriend and Eren didn’t want to hurt him in any way.

Eren would be careful with his relationship with Levi. He would allow himself to get closed to him again, but it would be purely platonic. They would rekindle their childhood  friendship, build on the relationship they had established over the past year, and Eren would leave his unrequited feelings in the past where they belonged.

Nothing to it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.
> 
> Comments make me unreasonably happy


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy,
> 
> Not keeping up the same type of schedule as I used to for chapter updates, but I do have one!  
> For those of you following, I please enjoy!

“Eren, here are those documents you wanted,” Levi said, walking around to the far side of Eren’s desk and handing him a small stack of papers.

“I didn’t ask for... Levi these are blank,” Eren said, looking up at Levi with a raised brow.

“Just go with it,” Levi hissed, eyes shifting between Eren and reception. Eren eyed him with confusion before glancing back toward Levi’s desk where a man named Dimo Reeves stood, leaning on Levi’s desk.

And it all made sense.

Dimo Reeves was one of their oldest, biggest, and  _ creepiest _ clients. He was overweight, greasy, and his breath left something to be desired. He spoke exclusively to Darius, the Manager, since he had been a client of his when Darius had been a salesman; but that didn’t stop him from striking up uncomfortable conversation with the receptionist while waiting for his appointment. 

It was like he had a weird fetish for receptionists; he had creeped out the past two receptionists that had worked the desk since Eren had started, and undoubtedly the girls before that. Eren was convinced that Dimo was partially responsible for the high turnover rate of the receptionists. He figured Darius had noticed it too and that’s why he had hired Levi; though it hadn’t seemed to make a difference.

“Oh, thank you Levi, these are very important to what I’m working on,” Eren said loudly to play along and earning himself a glare from Levi for being too  dramatic.

“I don’t even think he realizes I’m a man,” Levi whispered.

“Well you are awfully pretty,” Eren teased, only to receive an even harder glare and a light punch to the arm.

“I legit thought when you were hired that he would stop, but I guess his Receptionist fetish is deeper than we thought.  Gotta give him props for not fixating on gender I guess.” He laughed, feigning pain from the punch.

“Yeah  yeah , good for him. It is a good thing; I think everyone should have that mindset. But fuck if he isn’t creepy,” Levi hissed.

“You’re absolutely right. Please don’t leave,” Eren pleaded.

“Pfft, he doesn’t scare me,” Levi said, looking unreasonably cute as he crossed his arms and bending slightly as if hiding behind Eren.

“Sure,” Eren laughed, “Oh Levi, I’m sorry, I forgot to give you this document. Could you please make 3 copies; bound and hole-punched,” he added, raising his voice slightly to keep up the façade.

“Sure, no problem. Floch, do you need anything copied?” Levi asked, taking the papers from Eren and looking over to his desk mate.

“Why?” Floch asked, paranoia in his eyes as he looked between the two.

“I’m heading there anyway,” Levi shrugged, though Floch didn’t seem convinced. 

“Hello Dimo, sorry for the wait, please come in,” Darius said with a big smile, from his office doorway.

Levi watched Dimo pick himself up off of Levi’s counter and head into Darius’ office before turning back to Floch, “Suit yourself.”

“What are you two planning?” Floch narrowed his eyes at Eren.

“Nothing!” Eren exclaimed.

“Right,” Floch rolled his eyes and turned back to his computer.

Eren only chuckled and turned his attention back to reception, where Levi was now cleaning his entire desk with disinfectant wipes. Eren could barely handle how truly adorable Levi could be, especially when his obsessive  tendencies kicked in. He had been a little dramatic over cleanliness when they had been teenagers as well, and the compulsion seemed to have grown with him. It might have been borderline unhealthy, but Eren couldn’t help but find it endearing. Besides, it wasn’t his place to comment on Levi’s habits; unhealthy or not.

To Dino’s dismay, Levi hid in the bathroom as he was leaving. It didn’t stop him from pretending to check on a few things and making a call to waste some time. It was mildly hilarious, especially when he saw Levi peaking around a corner to see if the coast was clear.

“Hello Mr. Reeves, can I help you with something?” Eren asked, walking over and sitting at Levi’s desk.

“Just checking on a few things before I go. What are you doing?” He asked, looking Eren up and down with distaste for sitting in Levi’s place.

“Oh, Levi is in the bathroom,  _ not feeling well,”  _ Eren whispered the last part, eliciting the off-putted reaction he had been hoping for. “Figured I’d cover the desk until he came back,” He added, picking up the phone and pretending to check voicemails while Dino hastily made his way to the door.

“Hey Levi?” Eren asked, knocking on the bathroom door when it was safe to leave. 

“Hey... uh... it’s going to be a while,” Levi groaned weakly from inside.

“Okay, well Dino is gone,” Eren said and the door swung open immediately.

“About time,” He said, walking out and heading back toward his desk; Eren laughing as he trailed behind.

“I’m glad you find this funny,” Levi grumbled, pulling out his disinfectant wipes once more.

“I really do,” Eren grinned, catching the tiny smile that passed over Levi’s lips. “I’m heading to the breakroom for lunch, want to join?”

“Oh... I would, but I actually have plans for lunch,” Levi explained, his eyes falling away from Eren’s as he added, “Krista is picking me up.”

Eren’s stomach dropped at the news. Levi had never mentioned how his drink with Krista had gone, and Eren had never asked. Clearly, it had gone well. Eren wasn’t surprised; how could it not go well with two such beautiful people. He knew there was more to it than that, he was just in denial and conflicted over his  improperly placed jealousy.

“That’s great! You guys are going well?” Eren said, plastering on a smile.

“Yeah, she’s nice. We’ve gone out a few times,” Levi nodded.

“You’ll have to tell me all about it sometime,” Eren said, fighting through the uncomfortable awkwardness and aiming to be the friend he promised himself he could be. 

“Well I’m going to go eat, have fun on your lunch date,” he added, not really listening to the response before making his way to the breakroom to eat his ham and cheese sandwich. He chose the table with a clear view of reception; watching closely when the petite blond walked in. 

She was as pretty as Eren remembered and Levi seemed happy to see her. She hugged him as he came out from around his desk, pulling his coat on. He put an arm around her and walked out the door, but not before a quick glance toward Eren. His eyes falling as soon as they met, turning his attention back to his girlfriend while Eren sat in the breakroom berating himself for the empty feeling in his chest.

“Hello Eren,” Marco, one of the newer warehouse guys said with a warm smile as he walked toward the vending machine.

“Oh, hey Marco!” Eren said, pulling himself out of his daze, “How’s your day going?”

“Not bad, just came up to grab a soda. You alright?” He asked, big brown eyes watching him with concern.

“Oh yeah, just lost in thought,” Eren chuckled.

“Good, you looked really sad,” Marco said.

“Must just be my face,” Eren grinned, “Some people have a resting bitch face, I have a resting sad face. I’m not sure which one is worse.”

“I’m not sure,” Marco laughed, “Sometimes the resting bitch face can be  hella cute, like the receptionist.”

“Levi? Yeah, his bitch face is very cute,” Eren said, not expecting the statement, but not surprised either.

“I thought he hated me, but turns out he’s really nice,” Marco said.

“He’s shy at first, which does not help with that face,” Eren laughed.

“You know him pretty well then?” Marco asked, sitting down across from Eren with his drink.

“Yeah sort of. We knew each other as children, but hadn’t seen each other in years before he started here.” Eren explained.

“Oh wow, that’s lucky,” Marco said before shifting uncomfortably, “Do you know if he’s seeing anyone?” 

“You like him?” Eren exclaimed in surprise, watching as Marco’s cheeks flushed.

“A little, yeah. After I  realized he didn’t hate me, I noticed how cute he was,” Marco explained, face turning redder with each  word.

“I can’t blame you, he’s adorable. But he’s straight,” Eren said.

“Really?” Marco asked in disbelief, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, he’s dating a girl from my boyfriends’ work,” Eren said, refraining from saying ‘believe me’.

“Oh,  never mind then,” Marco said with a thoughtful look, “Guess I misread him.”

“What made you think he was?” Eren asked curiously, he had never known Levi to act in any way that would hint at his sexuality, regardless of what it was.

“Honestly, the way he looked at you. I thought you two were together until someone mentioned your boyfriend,” Marco explained.

“Me?” Eren asked his mouth going dry, “No you must have misunderstood, we’re just friends.”

“I must have, sorry,” Marco nodded.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Eren smiled, “You going to the boat party next weekend?” He asked, changing the subject. 

“I’m not sure, what is it exactly?” Marco asked, he had only been at Pixis Enterprises for a few months so it was his first annual boat party.

“It’s great, Mr. Pixis invites all of us out on his Yacht, we drive out offshore for a few hours. Drinks, dancing, and you can bring a date. It’s a good time, you should come!” Eren said.

“Yeah, I will! Probably won’t have a date though,” Marco chuckled.

“No problem, you can hang out with Jean and I,” Eren smiled.

“Thanks, I will!” Marco said with a genuine smile, “I really should get back to work, my break was over 5 minutes ago.”

“Mine too,” Eren laughed as they both stood and made their way back to their respective work areas to finish off the day.

Eren cuddled into Jean extra close that evening; feeling guilty for how he reacted to Levi and Krista earlier. He just couldn’t help himself; his feelings were raw and brought back the memories of losing Levi all those years ago. 

Especially after Levi’s apology. Not only did remember the pain and confusion of losing Levi at fourteen, now the knowledge of Levi’s regret and remorse weighed down on him as well. Things could have been so different; they could have been together all these years. Not romantically, but as the friends they were meant to be.

He didn’t care what Marco said, Levi was not interested in Eren. He believed that if they had continued their friendship Eren would have been able to come to terms with it long ago and get over his crush on Levi properly. Instead of just ignoring it for years and allowing it to resurface and put his current relationship at risk.

“What’s up, babe?” Jean asked, running his hand over Eren’s back.

“Hmm?” Eren asked, lifting his head off of Jean’s chest and looking up at him with a smile.

“You’re holding me pretty tight,” Jean said, “Not that I mind at all.” He added with a laugh

“Just feeling cuddly tonight,” Eren grinned, tucking his head under Jean’s chin once more and turning back to their show.

“Like I said, I don’t mind,” Jean hummed, relaxing back into the  couch and stroking Eren’s back.

“Oh, I told my co-worker Marco that he could hang with us at the Boat Party. I hope you don’t mind, he’s still pretty new at the company,” Eren said.

“Not at all, that was nice of you,” Jean said, kissing the top of Eren’s head.

“Pfft, I’m always nice,” Eren scoffed.

“Are you? Are you really?” Jean asked flatly before Eren growled and climbed on top of him; sitting on his legs and looking down with superiority.

“Yes I am. It’s not my fault you can’t appreciate me for my good qualities,” Eren said.

“Oh, I can appreciate them just fine,” Jean grinned, pulling a giggling Eren down into a kiss.

Eren was looking forward to the boat party; it was always his favorite work event for the year. He spent the week telling Levi about past parties, the major gossip or drama that happened during them, and how nice it was out on deck in the quiet night. Eren was just a big fan of boats and was excited that Levi was actually coming this year – he was still new last year and to Eren’s disappointment, had opted not to go.

“You made it!” Eren exclaimed as he and Jean walked toward the dock, to find Levi and Krista standing by the entrance.

“You made it sound so great we had to,” Levi said with a smile.

“Eren is obsessed with the boat party,” Jean laughed.

“It’s a boat!” Eren said, as though it was the only answer needed and guided the other three down the ramp and onto the boat.

“When does the excitement start?” Levi asked as he and Eren waited for drinks at the bar.

“Toward the end usually, after everyone has a few drinks in them. It’s actually pretty quiet usually...” Eren explained realizing that he may have gone over the top with his excitement for the party.

“I may have exaggerated... I just like the boat. Sorry,” he added while his cheeks flushed.

“In that case, the party sounds even better,” Levi said, slipping a bill into the tip jar before the picked up their now ready drinks.

“Then why did you agree to come if you’d rather quiet parties?” Eren laughed.

“Because you were going,” Levi said with a shrug and heading back to their table; leaving a stunned Eren to stare after him for a short moment before quickly catching up.

“You two are really cute together,” Krista gushed from across the booth where Jean had his arm around Eren. “How did you two  meet ?” she asked

“We met in University,” Eren said, pressing in a little closer to Jean.

“Was it love at first sight?” She asked, almost swooning and clearly tipsy.

“Definitely not,” Jean laughed loudly and Eren glanced over to Levi  whose eyes had fallen to the table.

“No we hated each other at first,” Eren chuckled softly, “I thought he was an arrogant prick.”

“And you were a stubborn asshole,” Jean said, turning  towa rd Eren with a grin.

“Ugh, that’s even cuter, don’t you think?” Krista asked leaning into Levi.

“Definitely,” Levi smiled, shifting so he could put an arm around her as well.

“I don’t know how cute it was, but we eventually grew on each other,” Eren said.

“Shut up, we’re adorable,” Jean laughed and Eren just looked at Krista and shrugged, making her giggle even more.

“Hey Eren,” Marco said, walking up to their table; looking shy and nervous.

“Hi! You look nice!” Eren smiled, looking over Marco’s button shirt and tie – much more flattering than his regular warehouse coveralls. 

“Come, sit! You know Levi, this is his girlfriend Krista and this is my boyfriend--” Eren began 

“Jean!” Marco gasped, eyes wide and staring at Jean.

“Marco!” Jean said, equally as shocked.

“You two know each other?” Eren asked, looking between the two of them.

“We went to high school together,” Marco offered, eyes still locked with Jeans.

Then it clicked.

This was  _ Marco.  _ Jean’s Marco. Jean’s high school sweetheart who he had broken up with in his second last year of University. Eren  remembered the devastation; Jean hadn’t gotten out of bed for a week. He missed his classes, failed a major assignment, and refused to speak to anyone. That was until Eren had broken into his room, threw him in the shower, and took him out for some fresh air and a good meal.

It had been rough but it had also been the thing that had brought the two  closer together.

“Maybe I should go hang with Reiner...” Marco said, taking a step back. Eren looked between him and Jean, unable to be the one to tell Marco to stay – it was not his place.

“No. Please stay,” Jean said suddenly, “How have you been?” he asked as Marco hesitantly grabbed a chair and sat at the end of the table.

Eren sat quietly between Jean and Marco while they spoke. It was awkward and uncomfortable; he wasn’t sure if he should join in, or even how. He glanced over to Levi, who gave him a sympathetic look. He might not know exactly what was going on but by the look they shared and Levi’s quiet demeanor while the other two spoke, it was obvious he knew something was not right.

“Hey Krista, let me introduce you to Sasha. I think you two would like each other,” Levi said a few moments later, guiding her out of the booth with a soft smile toward Eren.

“I'm sorry Eren, I know this is probably horrible for you,” Jean said.

“No, it’s not. I promise,” Eren assured, “But I think I should let you two speak alone for a bit.”

“You don’t have to,” Marco said.

“It’s okay. You two catch up, I wanted to go out on the deck anyway.” Eren smiled, giving Jean a quick kiss before getting up. Marco smiled shyly as Eren passed and slid into the booth across from Jean.

Eren made his way to the bar for a new drink; leaning on the counter as he waited, eyes scanning over the party. Everyone seemed to be having a great time; some were playing pool, some were dancing, and the rest were just chatting happily. Normally Eren would just throw himself into the fun, but with all of the things piling up on him the past few weeks, he just wasn’t feeling it. 

Instead he slipped away out onto the deck where he could enjoy the quiet moonlight and the fresh smell of water.

“Hey,” Levi said, walking up to Eren a little while later and leaning on the rail beside him.

“Hey!” Eren smiled, turning his attention to the shorter man.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. I’m sorry that was uncomfortable for you,” Eren said.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m more concerned about you. Can I ask that the story is there?” Levi asked softly.

“Pretty sure Marco is the love of Jean’s life,” Eren said quietly.

“What? Eren, no. Jean loves you,” Levi said, rubbing Eren’s back.

“I know he does,” Eren nodded.

“Come here,” Levi said, leading Eren over to a bench to sit down and waiting quietly for him to continue.

“I didn’t know Marco was Jean’s Marco,” Eren began, “They dated in high school and long distance for the first couple years of University. I was there when they broke up, I’ve never seen Jean so upset and it took such a long time for him to move on.”

“But he did,” Levi assured.

“Yes, he did and we’ve been happy together. But no matter how much you love the person you’re with; when your first love walks back into your life It's like you don’t know anything anymore,” Eren explained, looking into Levi’s eyes.

“You sound like you’re speaking from experience,” Levi whispered.

Eren didn’t say anything; he couldn’t. Yes, he knew from experience. He had been experiencing it ever since Levi walked through Pixis Enterprises’ door. He had no idea what he was doing, he felt like he was being pulled apart at the seams; trying to control his feelings between his long-time boyfriend who he had learned to love and care for deeply throughout their years together and the boy who had stolen his heart the moment their eyes met.

Was this how Jean was feeling? Was he fighting himself over his love for Eren and being reunited with his first? Would he stay with Eren despite his conflict? Or would he recapture what he had once had with Marco. 

Eren wouldn’t blame him if he wanted to leave. Marco had been the love of his life; how could anything compete with that? It was even worse than what Eren had been going through, at least Marco had loved Jean back. Levi hadn’t held anything but platonic feelings for Eren and Eren heart had still been going through hell since Levi strolled back into his life.

“Do you think he’s going to leave?” Levi asked.

“No, I don’t think so... but I don’t know either,” Eren said.

“I don’t think he will, but if he does you know I’m here for you, right?” Levi said, placing a comforting hand on Eren’s knee.

“I do, thank you,” Eren said, smiling at the sincerity in Levi’s eyes.

Levi smiled back before shifting a little closer and laying his head on Eren’s shoulder. Eren knew it was to comfort him in the situation, which he appreciated immensely but there was a small part of him that just liked the closeness. The days’ events had drained him to the point that he couldn’t even bring himself to fight it.

They stayed like that for a long while; sitting together quietly, Levi’s head on Eren’s shoulder and Eren’s head resting against Levi’s, watching the star filled sky and listening to the waves lap gently at the boat. It was nice, Eren didn’t want to move and Levi didn’t seem to mind. That was until Jean walked over to them slowly, head down and hands in his pockets.

“Hey,” He said.

“Hey,” Eren said, straightening up and looking Jean up and down for a hint of what he was going to say.

“Can I talk to you?” Jean asked.

.

“Of course,” Eren smiled softly and stood up.

“I’ll be inside if you need me,” Levi said, getting up and squeezing Eren’s arm for support.

“Thanks Levi,” Eren smiled and watched him head inside before turning back to Jean.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Jean said.

“You didn’t,” Eren said truthfully, he honestly didn’t blame Jean for how he had been feeling.

“Marco and I just talked. Caught up and stuff,” Jean explained

“How was it?” Eren asked.

“Nice actually, kind of like when we were friends before we started dating. We would like to go back to that... but only if it’s okay with you,” Jean said.

“Me? Why?” Eren asked.

“Because you’re my boyfriend, idiot.” Jean laughed, taking a step closer and pulling Eren into his arms. Eren wrapped his arms around Jeans waist and rested his head on his chest. “Did you think I was going to leave you for Marco?” he added quietly.

“The thought crossed my mind,” Eren said sheepishly.

“Marco and I broke up a long time ago. I’m with you now and I love you. If you’re uncomfortable with him and I being friends again then we won’t,” Jean assured.

“No, I want you to be friends again. Marco is such a sweet guy and it’s always nice to have an old friend back,” Eren said.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” Jean said, lifting Eren’s him and kissing him softly.

Eren considered telling Jean about Levi. Explaining to him that he understood Jean’s situation much more than it seemed. He could tell him that he knew exactly what it felt like to have your heart ripped between the one you love and the one who broke your heart. 

He decided against it; just smiling and laying his head back down on Jean’s chest. Their situations were similar but one main difference; Marco had actually loved Jean back. 

Instead he just stayed in Jeans arms; swaying to the music playing inside the cabin. He spotted Levi and Krista watching them through the window; Krista looking completely lovestruck while Levi’s face unreadable as usual. He smiled, with his head still on Jean’s chest and lifting a hand to wave to Levi. 

Levi nodded stiffly before guiding Krista away to give them some privacy. Yes, Eren’s love for Levi still lingered, but what was most important, which he thought Jean would agree; was that he had finally gotten his old friend back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy!
> 
> Thank you again for the great comments!   
> It really is a big help with keeping up the motivation <3
> 
> Please enjoy this new chapter!

Things had been going pretty well since the Boat Party.

Jean would spend a lot of his free time messaging Marco and getting to know each other again, but he was also even more attentive and loving toward Eren as usual. Eren figured it was because Jean still felt guilty, but he wasn’t going to bring it up. Especially when he had been doing the same thing not so long ago. 

Though Eren did find himself a bit lonely.

Levi had taken a sudden leave just after the party. Or maybe it had been a planned Vacation that Eren had just not known about. Either way, he hadn’t seen Levi in over a week and it was weird to look up from his desk to find Thomas the temp at Levi’s desk. It also made Eren realize just how often he looked over to Levi’s desk throughout the day – it was a bit more than he would willingly admit and Levi’s return made him much happier than what was probably appropriate.

“Way to go on Vacation without telling me first,” Eren grinned, leaning over the desk as Levi got himself situated.

“Sorry, it was kind of last minute,” Levi said.

“Oh yeah? What did you do?” Eren asked.

“I stood in Isabel’s wedding actually. I had planned on only taking Friday, but I hadn’t seen her in so long, when she came home, I decided to take the full week,” Levi explained.

“I didn’t realize she had moved away,” Eren said.

“Yeah, just after high school, like I did. She met  Farlan that first year and finally got married over the weekend. I hadn’t seen her since I came home so it was really nice,” Levi explained.

“That’s great, I’m glad you had a good time. I know how happy I am when Armin or Mikasa come home for a visit,” Eren smiled.

“I know Mikasa is teaching in France, where is Armin?” Levi asked.

“Down south with his own Marine Biology lab,” Eren said proudly.

“Good for him,” Levi smiled.

“So, any pictures of you in a tux?” Eren asked with a cheeky grin.

“No, none. I wasn’t even there,” Levi said, turning his attention back to his computer.

“Oh, come on, let me see. I’m not above asking your mom,” Eren said.

“You wouldn’t,” Levi glared.

“Wouldn’t I?” Eren asked, bringing up his phone and scrolling through the contacts.

“How do you have my mother’s phone number?” Levi gasped.

“I don’t actually, but I have your Aunts’. Wouldn’t be hard,” Eren laughed.

Levi rolled his eyes and pulled out his own phone before bringing up a picture and showing Eren with a grumble, “Here.” 

Eren grinned, taking a closer look. “You look adorable,” he said, eyes traveling over Levi’s petite frame in his perfectly fitting tux and licked back hair.

“I was going more for dashing,” Levi said.

“That too,” Eren smiled, “Any of you and Krista together? What did she wear?” he asked.

“She didn’t go...” Levi said, “We actually broke up.”

“Eren, do you even plan on working today?” Floch said, glaring at Eren before dropping a stack of papers onto Levi’s desk, “I need four copies if this one will stop flirting with you.”

“We’re going to talk about this later,” Eren said to Levi before heading back to his own desk and getting to work. 

Though it was hard to concentrate on his work while his mind constantly fell back to Levi. Why did he a Krista break up? What happened? He thought they had been happy together. Though to be honest, Levi really didn’t talk about his relationship much.

Was he heartbroken? Did he love her? Had he ever been in love? Eren was beyond curious. They had been friends since Levi had moved back but he knew virtually nothing about him; at least not the real him. He wanted to know what Levi was thinking – he wanted to know what Levi thought of him. In light of the breakup, he couldn’t help but to think about what Marco had said.

Though that wouldn’t do anyone any good, would it? 

Eren would just be the friend he promised himself he would be. He would talk to Levi, help him through the breakup, be there for him in his time of need. So, he took Levi out for drinks after work – despite his protests.

“This is unnecessary,” Levi said while Eren guided him into the bar.

“Why? It’s nice to get out for a drink once in a while,” Eren said.

“Yeah but I don’t need to cry about a breakup,” Levi grumbled.

“Then don’t, we can talk about anything you want. Don’t you want to spend time with me?” Eren asked, giving Levi his best puppy eyes. 

Levi’s eyes lingered on Eren for a moment before looking down and nodding, “Of course I do.”

“Good, then let’s get drunk!” Eren grinned, dragging Levi over to a table and picking out some drinks and appetizers.

They spent the first few rounds laughing; talking about work, friends, Isabel’s wedding. Just chatting like the old  friends they were and having a great time.

“This is really good,” Levi said, scooping another chip into the spinach dip.

“Isn’t it?” Eren laughed, taking his own mouthful.

“Thanks for taking me out, this was fun,” Levi said with heavy eyes and a smile on his face.

“I don’t know why we don’t hang out more often,” Eren smiled back. “ So, what happened with you and Krista?”

“Nothing really, it just wasn’t right,” Levi shrugged.

“When did you break up?” Eren asked.

“At the boat party,” Levi shrugged.

“Really? What happened? You seemed fine!” Eren said

“I don’t know. I saw how good you and Jean were together and I just... realized that we’d never have that,” Levi explained.

“Me and Jean? We’re not perfect,” Eren said, surprised that he had been Levi’s reasoning, especially since Levi knew what had been going on between them that evening.

“I know, but you talk and work things out and are just... good together. I don’t know what to talk to Krista about, we have nothing in common. I don’t think about her when she’s not around,” Levi admitted.

“That’s fair. You can’t force a relationship to be right,” Eren said. “You did say she wasn’t your type. What are you looking for? Maybe I’ll know someone.”

Levi’s face went from is usual unreadable expression to one of almost... sadness. Eren hated seeing him like that. All he wanted was to pull him into his arms and promise everything would be fine.

“If I tell you something, do you promise not to be upset?” Levi asked nervously.

“Of course!” Eren smiled warmly, eyes focused on Levi while the smaller man tried to form the words.

“I think I like men...” He said finally; refusing to meet Eren’s eyes.

Eren felt the air leave his lungs, like someone had just kicked him in the chest. Levi liked men?? How was that possible? After everything that happened... after Levi had stopped talking to him for that very reason... Had he known then? Eren couldn’t go there, it hurt too much. The thought of Levi knowing he was gay when he pushed Eren away was too much for Eren to handle.

Of course, Levi being gay didn’t mean he had to be in love with Eren, but it still brought his rejection to a much higher level. Eren’s heart ached in his chest.

“I’m sorry,” Levi said quietly and that’s when Eren noticed he hadn’t said anything in a long time. So much for being there for his friend, or promising not to get upset. What a terrible reaction to coming out.

“No, I’m sorry, it just surprised me,” Eren admitted.

“I figured it would,” Levi nodded, still not meeting his eyes. “After everything that happened; distancing myself from you because people were calling me gay, only to realize years later than it was true all along. You have a right to be upset.”

“It’s all in the past,” Eren assured with a soft smile as Levi looked up at him in surprise. “High school was hard. Figuring yourself out is even harder. I can’t get upset with you for reacting that way when we were children.”

“How are you so understanding?” Levi asked.

Eren laughed with a shrug, “I guess I’m just happy to have you back, there’s no need to dwell on the past.”

“You’re amazing,” Levi laughed.

“I know,” Eren said, puffing out his chest in triumph.

“Did you actually like me back then? Or was everyone just idiots, including myself?” Levi of asked.

Eren hesitated for a moment, looking into Levi’s eyes for a hint of amusement or that he didn’t actually want the answer. But it was Levi, there was no way he would be mad at the answer or poke fun at him for it.

“Yes, I did,” He nodded.

“Fuck. I’m sorry,” Levi said but Eren just waved it off.

“It was a long time ago,” He said.

“This will probably just make everything worse... I’m really good at this if you can’t tell. But I liked you too, I just didn’t know it. I was so confused and couldn’t handle my own feelings.” Levi explained, rambling slightly.

It was another blow, just as intense as the first. Levi had liked him... all those years... wondering what it would have been like to know Levi that way; to be with him. 

They could have been together. Sure, it might not have lasted; how often did high school romances last? But at least he would have known what it like to be with him, and who knows, maybe it was meant to be. Maybe if they had gotten together as children they would still be together now. 

Instead of Eren fighting himself over his inappropriately lingering love for Levi.

“I shouldn’t have told you that, I’m sorry,” Levi said.

“No, it’s fine. It's good to have it all out in the open. We can move forward now and maybe try to get you a boyfriend,” Eren grinned. He had mastered the art of pushing away his true feelings lately.

“I don’t know if I’m ready for a boyfriend...” Levi said. “I’ve never been on a date with a man before, this is the first time I’ve ever admitted my preference out loud.”

“Then we’ll go slow,” Eren smiled, admiring the blush that had spread over Levi’s cheeks.

“Stationary even,” Levi said.

“How about a double date? Marco mentioned that he liked you, the four of us could go out,” Eren suggested.

What was he doing? Why had he offered? He didn’t want to go on a double date with Levi and Marco, it had been bad enough to see Levi with a girl! Now he was setting him up with Jean’s ex-boyfriend? Yes, Levi was his friend; he would do absolutely anything for him, but maybe this was a little far. But then again, if Levi and Marco were into it, and Jean was fine with it, then what did it matter if Eren was the only one upset by it? It might even be a good way for Eren to finally overcome these unwelcomed feelings.   


“Marco? He said that?” Levi asked.

“Yeah, he asked if you were available. I told him you weren’t into men, but obviously I was wrong. I can set something up,” Eren explained, finding himself rambling a little out of nerves.

“Yeah, okay. We can do that. But only if it’s all of us, I can’t do one on one yet,” Levi said.

“Great, I’ll speak to Jean and Marco about it tomorrow,” Eren smiled brightly.

“You’re really something, aren’t you?” Levi said with a soft smile.

“How so?” Eren asked, feeling a blush fill his own cheeks.

“You’re so accepting and willing to help. Despite how I treated you as children, or telling you all of this now on top of it. You just take it in, adapt, and turn it into helping me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” Levi explained.

“You’re my friend,” Eren smiled, “Now, let’s continue getting shitfaced!”

Levi laughed, clinking his glass with Eren’s before both swallowing the  last of their drinks and waving the  waitress back over for some more.

Despite his conflicted emotions, it was the most fun Eren had had in a long time. But it didn’t come without punishment. Eren barely remembered how he had gotten home; he was pretty sure Jean had somehow managed to wrestle him into bed, but everything else was fuzzy. Especially while the bedroom was spinning around him.

“Are you still asleep?” Levi’s voice broke through Eren’s subconscious, startling him enough to jump awake.

“Ugh,” He groaned, holding his head as it threatened to explode.

“How are you feeling?” Levi asked with a chuckle.

“Like death,” Eren admitted, slowly sitting up in the bed and squinting toward Levi; only then realizing that Levi was in his home. “Did you sleep here?”

“I did. Jean let me crash on the couch and even drove me to work this morning,” Levi explained.

“Oh shit, work!” Eren gasped, quickly moving to get out of bed just as Levi pushed him back.

“Eren, it’s 5pm, I put you in as a sick day. Now eat this soup and drink the entire bottle of water,” Levi said handing Eren a takeout bag and a water bottle.

“Thanks,” Eren said, opening the bottle and guzzling almost the entire thing. “What happened? I don’t even remember getting home.” He asked.

“We drank a lot,” Levi laughed.

“That, I remember,” Eren grinned, carefully opening his soup container to avoid spilling in the bed.

“We had a good time then Jean picked us up and now we’re here,” Levi explained.

“How did you work today?” Eren asked as a particularly harsh stab pulsed through his temple.

“I didn’t drink as much as you,” Levi laughed, “And I drank about a gallon of water before I went to sleep. Jean let me borrow some of your clothes by the way.”

“They fit??” Eren asked, eyeing Levi up and down.

“They were clean,” Levi glared.

Eren just laughed, taking another spoonful of soup, “Thanks for the soup, really hitting the spot. Is Jean home?”

“No, he said something about his Mom’s birthday and asked me to come take care of you,” Levi explained.

“Right, shit. I was supposed to go to that,” Eren groaned, “I’ll have to call her tomorrow. For now, grab something comfy from the drawer and get in here so we can watch some movies,” He smiled.

Levi chuckled quietly, though Eren noticed the pink spread over his cheeks before he headed to the bathroom with a pair of Eren’s sweat pants and a t-shirt. Eren felt his own face heat up when Levi returned with the oversized clothes and climbed into the bed beside him, turning his attention toward the list of movies to stream.

“Oh shit, do you remember this one??” Eren exclaimed, coming up on a movie poster with a traffic type sign and a group of skateboarders.

“Didn’t we see that in theatre together?” Levi asked.

“We did!” Eren smiled, thinking back to their Summer together; all of their other friends had been busy that day, so Eren and Levi had gone by themselves. It was the closest thing to a date they had been on, and Eren’s nervousness almost outweighed his excitement. Of course, it had all been in his head because being with Levi was the easiest thing in the world and it only took a few minutes before they had fallen into their normal routine of spending time together.

“Let’s watch it,” Levi said, scooting a little closer to Eren and leaning against the headboard.

“I used to love watching you skateboarding,” Eren laughed, turning on the movie and getting comfortable.

“I used to love skateboarding,” Levi chuckled, “Especially when you would cheer me on.”

“Used to? You don’t anymore?” Eren asked.

“I haven’t been on a skateboard in years,” Levi said.

“What? Why??” Eren demanded.

“Just fell out of it, I guess. Life got busy,” Levi shrugged.

“We have to go to the skatepark!” Eren exclaimed.

“Eren, I will break my  thirty year old neck!” Levi said.

“No, you won’t! Isn’t Tony Hawk like 50?” Eren asked.

“Yes, but he didn’t stop skating for years. I was never great and now I’m out of practice too,” Levi explained.

“I thought you were great,” Eren said quietly, his eyes dropping and attention turning back toward the tv – for dramatic affect. Levi was quiet for a moment before leaning in to nudge Eren’s shoulder with his own before quietly focusing on the movie.

Watching a movie on the bed beside Levi brought back many memories of their summer. It was nostalgic and comfortable; they laughed, they talked, they even paid attention to the movie  occasionally. Eren was a little disappointed when Levi went home, but he had to admit; it was a nice way to spend a hungover evening. It also gave him some time to come up with points to discuss with Jean for their double date before he had come home. 

Eren wasn’t sure if he was surprised or not, but Jean was fully onboard with Eren’s double date idea. They spent the rest of the evening coming up with date ideas; something that both Levi and Marco would enjoy. It seems they didn’t really have much in common, but it didn’t worry them too much. It wasn’t like the two were going to get married, it was just a way to introduce Levi into dating and give Marco a nice evening. Who knows, they could hit it off.

Eren wasn’t sure if he wanted that or not, but he decided not to think that far ahead, just far enough to plan the double date. 

They decided on dinner at a relatively nice restaurant on the waterfront two weeks later. Nothing too fancy or expensive, just good food and a beautiful view. They also decided to all go together, with Jean picking Levi and Marco up on the way. 

Almost like parents driving a couple teenagers to their first date, Jean and Eren stayed quiet in the front seat, listening to Marco and Levi’s pleasantries and awkward small talk. It was cute as hell and Eren and Jean keep sharing happy glances between them.

“You two look really nice,” Eren smiled, hanging his coat on the hook and sliding into the booth. Watching as Marco took Levi’s coat and offered him the inside seat of their side.

“Thanks,” Levi said quietly, looking a little bashful as he slid in across from Eren.

“This place is really good. Levi, have you been here before?” Jean asked, opening his menu and scooting closer to Eren so they could look together.

“I haven’t, what’s good?” Levi asked, opening his menu as Marco slid a little closer to him to share. A dust of pink covering Levi’s nose as he moved the menu a little closer to Marco and catching Eren’s eyes for a short moment. Eren smiled reassuringly at him before  recommending some of his own favorite dishes.

“ So Levi, what did you do before you came to work at Pixis Enterprises?” Marco asked once they had received their drinks and ordered their food.

“I moved to the west coast after high school, worked in construction,” Levi said.

“Really? That must have been exciting, I hear the money over there is great,” Marco smiled.

“Yeah it is. It was nice up there,” Levi agreed. Eren smiled at Levi, trying to reassure him and help him relax. He seemed so nervous, which was to be expected on a first date, especially his first one after accepting his attraction to men.

“Why did you come back?” Jean asked.

“To help my mom out after my step father died,” Levi said.

“I’m sorry,” Marco said, placing a hand on Levi’s for support. Levi visibly tensed but didn’t pull away as Marco continued, “Do you think you’d go back?”

“I don’t think so. It’s nice being home, there are a lot of things I missed,” Levi said, eyes locking with Eren’s. Eren felt his cheeks warm, though thankfully it seemed to go unnoticed by the others.

“I considered moving up there for a while, but never did,” Marco explained. “I guess something was keeping me here.” he smiled.

Eren was glad when the food arrived, it took some of the pressure off of Levi and the awkward  conversation he was trying to keep up with. Poor Levi was never good at small talk, at least not at first. Eren couldn’t tell if the double date was a good idea or a bad one, but he was glad to be there to help Levi through it. 

Luckily, Jean and Marco had gone off on a tangent about sports that kept them occupied for a while Levi took a  much needed break from the focus. He and Eren started their own quiet conversation to the side while Jean relived his football days in college and  reminisced about high school with Marco. Eren had never been a fan of football, though he had gone to most of Jean’s games in college, but that didn’t mean he had to talk about it now; especially with Marco there to happily take the heat. 

It was nice to see Jean so happy. Maybe Eren should have been worried about how it; Jean and Marco had gotten very close in the short time they had been reunited. Eren wondered if Jean was going through the same internal conflict that he was. Maybe he should talk to him about it, have them both figure everything out together; but he didn’t want to. He just wanted to ignore all of it and let it sort itself out. He wasn’t so delusional to think that would work, but it was easier to just ignore it.

“Are you having fun?” Eren asked as he and Levi excused themselves to the restroom while waiting for dessert.

“Yeah!” Levi said, though Eren was not convinced. “Okay yeah, it’s a bit awkward,” Levi added after Eren gave him a look.

“First dates usually are. Are you okay though? Do you like Marco?” Eren asked.

“He’s really nice but I’m not sure I see it going anywhere,” Levi said.

“That’s fair, not all dates work out,” Eren said.

“Thank you for doing this. I don’t think I would have gotten through it without you,” Levi said honestly.

“Of course, I’m glad to help,” Eren grinned, drying off his hands and leading them both back out to the table.

They finished their date with relative ease, chatting over coffee for a while before finally calling it a night. Jean and Marco speaking mostly to each other on the drive home, still wrapped up in their  earlier conversations with a little gossip of old classmates thrown in here and there.

“That went well, don’t you think?” Jean asked while they parked at the end of Levis driveway and watched Marco walk Levi to the door.

“Yeah, it did!” Eren smiled, eyes locked on the two as they said their goodbyes.

“Do you think they’ll go out again?” Jean asked.

“Not sure, Levi’s new to this, might not be ready for a relationship yet,” Eren said. Jean nodded in agreement, though his focus locked on the two men outside, just like Eren.

Eren hadn’t realized he had been holding his breath until he watched Levi politely duck out of what might have been an attempt at a goodbye kiss and go inside. He hated the relief that filled him, it wasn’t fair to anyone; not himself, not Levi, and  definitely not Jean.

He  couldn't help himself. The last thing he wanted to see was Levi kissing someone else, even if he felt like an asshole for feeling that way. He had to get his emotions under control. This inner conflict had gone on long enough and he needed it to stop. 

He didn’t deserve either of them if this is how he acted. 

After dropping Marco off, Eren and Jean rode home together in silence. Eren tormented by his thoughts; wanting to tell Jean everything, not wanting to hurt him, wanting to know what Jean thought of Marco. Was he in love with him? He had assumed all along that he was, but also wouldn’t allow himself to dwell on in for fear of making it real. 

Would it make things better or worse? Would they work through it or would it end their  relationship? Should they work through it? Was their relationship strong enough to overcome this?

Were they meant to be together? 

Or were they meant for something else?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think!
> 
> FYI: I started the next chapter today and something big happens that I think you might like!  
> Just throwing that out there  
> <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I would have had this chapter finished sooner but I've been balls deep in Breath of the Wild.  
> I stopped playing for like 8 months and now I'm completely obsessed with it again.  
> (Someone cry about Sidlink with me!)
> 
> Anyway, please enjoy this chapter!

“Didn’t we just watch a football game?” Eren asked with a childish whine as he and Jean climbed out of the car beside their friend, Connie’s house. 

“Eren, it’s the first game of the season,” Jean said flatly, grabbing a case of beer and a container of wings out of the back seat before making their way up the driveway. 

“I know,” Eren mumbled, grabbing the container from Jean to help. 

“Do you want to go home? You’ve been kind of mopey all weekend, I thought it would be nice to get out,” Jean said. 

“I’m not mopey!” Eren exclaimed, “Just bored,” He shrugged. 

“Then come on and let’s have some fun!” Jean smiled. 

“Fiiine,” Eren said, rolling his eyes with a playful smile and reaching up to kiss Jean on the cheek. 

He did normally have fun at these get togethers, he was just feeling anxious. The double date hadn’t sat as well with him as he thought it would. He was jealous of Levi being with Marco, he was angry at himself for feeling it, and he was worried that he would end up breaking Jean’s heart. 

He just wanted to lay in bed, watch tv, and eat chips all night while ignoring everything that was going on. But Jean liked it when he joined him on game night, and Eren was never one to refuse someone wanting to spend time with him. 

This night, he was having a hard time getting into it, his mind too scattered to focus on the game. He welcomed the distraction as his phone vibrated in his pocket; pulling it out to find a text from Levi. He hadn’t spoken to him since their double date. 

_**Levi:** I have to get my own place _

_**Eren:** Why? What's up? _

_**Levi:** I’m a grown ass adult locking myself in my room because my Mom has friends over. _

_**Eren:** LOL. Why don’t you hang with her? _

_**Levi:** I’d rather die than go talk about how sexy the rom-com male lead is _

_**Eren:** You’re not impressed? _

_**Levi:** I’ve seen better _

_**Levi:** What are you up to? _

_**Eren:** At a friends house, watching football _

_**Levi:** oh sorry. I can leave you to it _

_**Eren:** Please don’t. I’m so bored! _

_**Eren:** I’m actually not far from you, you should come over _

_**Levi:** I’m not really in to football _

_**Eren:** Neither am I. The old skatepark is near here! Lets meet there and have some fun _

_**Levi:** pretty sure they tore that down _

_**Eren:** WHAT?!? You’re not serious?! _

_**Levi:** Pretty sure _

_**Eren:** meet me there in 10 minutes. I have to see for myself. _

Eren filled Jean in on the situation, before pulling on his coat and heading outside. It’s true, he hadn’t been in this area in years, but the skatepark couldn’t be gone! All of the memories he shared with Levi at that park. The amount of times he would just go and sit after he and Levi had stopped being friends. He was legitimately upset at the thought and hope with everything he had that it wasn’t true. 

But as he found himself standing in the parking lot of a relatively new supermarket, he realized, to his dismay, that it was. 

“Sorry you had to find out this way,” Levi’s voice brought him out of his thoughts and he turned to find the shorter man walking toward him; a skateboard under one arm and looking adorable in his hoodie and jeans. 

“I knew they built this store, but I didn’t realize they built over the park,” Eren said sadly. 

“We had some good times here, didn’t we?” Levi smiled. 

“The best,” Eren agreed, heading toward the bench beside the walking trail, with Levi following behind. 

“We should have had more,” Levi said quietly and Eren only nodded. 

“I really fucked up,” Levi said. 

“Nah, it’s fine. It’s all in the past,” Eren said, putting a reassuring hand on Levi’s knee. 

“No, it’s really not. It’s the worst thing I have ever done and I regret it every single day,” Levi said painfully. 

“Oh Levi, no. It’s okay, we’re friends again,” Eren said, his smile faltering as he watched the tears begin to slip from Levi’s eyes. Eren could do nothing but pull the smaller man into a tight hug. 

“We never should have stopped. We never should have been apart for all those years. We should have been together!” Levi exclaimed; his voice muffled through Eren’s jacket. 

“We are together!” Eren soothed, unsure of what to do or where all of this was coming from. 

“No, we’re not. You’re with Jean,” Levi cried softly 

Eren stilled. His entire body frozen from the words. Did Levi say what he thought he did? Was Eren hearing things? He had to be, there was no way Levi could have said them. Why was Levi so upset? He had admitted to crushing on Eren when they were kids, but that didn’t mean he had held on to those feelings all this time. 

All that time wondering why. Why Levi hadn’t wanted him, why he had pushed him away, why Eren could never move on. The thought of what could have been had been weighing on him for the past fifteen years. All the turmoil he had put himself through for months, fighting his feelings, not wanting to ruin his relationship with Jean but wishing that Levi was his. 

“I’m sorry,” Eren whispered, unsure what else to say. 

“Do you love him?” Levi asked, looking up into Eren’s eyes. 

Eren stared back into Levi’s beautiful gray eyes as they shimmered in unshed tears, “I do.” He whispered. 

“He’s going to hurt you,” Levi said. 

“You don’t know that,” Eren whispered, but he knew there was truth to it. There was no way out of this situation without someone getting hurt, and he worried that it would be Jean. 

“He’s in love with Marco!” Levi exclaimed, “Can’t you see that?” 

“They have history, he’s just working through it,” Eren defended. 

“Is he? Are you sure he’s not just getting closer with him? Are you sure he’s not going to cheat on you?” Levi demanded. 

“He’s not going to cheat on me,” Eren said. 

“How do you know? You were so upset on the boat, you thought he was going to leave you! Then the other night at the restaurant, they couldn’t take their eyes off each other. They're in love and you’re going to get hurt!” Levi shouted. 

“I just know,” Eren said, not meeting his eyes. 

“I’m sorry Eren but you don’t. It has nothing to do with my feelings for you, but Jean is in love with Marco,” Levi insisted. 

“So what if he is? Maybe this is what he needs! Maybe he has to realize his feelings to move past it!” Eren yelled, quickly wiping away some stray tears. 

“Doesn’t that hurt you?” Levi asked gently. 

“How can it hurt me, when it’s the exact thing I’ve been doing?” Eren asked, avoiding Levi’s eyes as the man stared at him for a long moment. 

“You are?” Levi finally spoke. 

Eren couldn’t answer, but Levi didn’t wait for it anyway. Suddenly Levi’s lips were on his and the world around them completely melted away. Eren’s senses were on fire; his heart bursting, his head swimming, and everything he had ever wanted within reach. 

Eren pulled Levi closer, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and kissing with as much passion as fifteen years of unrequited love could provide. The feel of Levi’s lips on his own; he felt like he was sitting on the bus on the way to junior high, watching Levi walk toward bus, and falling in love with him all over again. 

It was everything he had ever dreamed of. But it was wrong... 

How could he do this to Jean? Jean trusted him. They had been through so much in their years together, how could Eren throw it all away like this. Yes, Jean was in love with Marco, that much was obvious; but neither of them would be the people they were today without the other. Was that worth throwing away for lost love? 

Eren broke the kiss slowly, placing his hand on Levi’s chest and gently pushing him away. Levi looked up at him; his look of mild confusion fading into hurt and realization. “You’re really going to stay with him?” 

“I’m sorry,” Eren whispered, his heart breaking with the pain on Levi’s face. 

Levi didn’t speak, his eyes falling as he sat motionless for a long moment Giving only a nod of understanding Levi stood up from the bench and walked away. Eren wanted to run after him, he wanted to pull him into his arms again and kiss him until they were breathless. But he couldn’t. He had to do the right thing. 

But why did the right thing have to feel so terrible? 

Eren walked back to Connie's house slowly, trying to wrap his head round everything that had just happened. Had he done the right thing? 

To an extent, of course he did; cheating was never the answer and he could never do it to anyone, especially not Jean. But he had already cheated, hadn’t he? 

Not just the kiss; a kiss could be forgiven, but what Eren had felt while kissing Levi, what he felt every moment he was near Levi... there was nothing innocent about that. Falling in love with someone other than your significant other, even without acting on it, was still cheating. 

Eren felt horrible. He had betrayed Jean and he had hurt Levi in the process. All those years of being in love with his childhood friend, only to reject him when he finally found the courage to confess. Eren didn’t deserve either one of them. 

And maybe Levi was right... he was clearly right. Jean was in love with Marco, there was no denying it anymore. Eren and Jean needed to have a long talk about their future together – or apart if that’s what it came to. 

The one thing Eren was sure of, was that he would not be the one to stand in the way of Jean’s happiness. Whether Eren and Levi were meant to be together or not, Jean deserved to be with the one who gave him the most happiness. 

Sure, Jean and Eren could spend the rest of their lives together and be perfectly content, but Eren had a feeling that neither of them would feel the joy and wholeness of being with the one person you are truly meant to be with. 

“Hey, how was the skatepark?” Jean asked as Eren made his way over to Jean and sitting beside him on the couch. 

“Gone,” Eren said sadly. 

“Aw babe, I’m sorry. I know that place was special to you,” Jean said, wrapping his arm around Eren’s shoulders. 

“It’s fine, it was only a skatepark,” Eren said with a forced smile before laying his head against his boyfriend. 

“You know, Levi could have come back for the game,” Jean said, resting his cheek on Eren’s head and rubbing Eren’s back as he often did when he was worried about his boyfriend. 

“He had to leave,” Eren said, leaving it there and Jean didn’t press for more; he just continued to hold him until the game was over. 

Eren dreaded the idea of talking to Jean about what was going on. It was easier to ignore it and keep going as though nothing had changed. He hoped he could do the same with Levi, though he knew that was impossible and he dreaded going back to work even more. 

He even went so far as to call in sick on Monday, his anxiety over seeing Levi too much for him to handle and everything he needed to deal with twisting his stomach into agonizing knots. Instead he hid under the covers of his bed, pretending he had no responsibilities or obligations. 

Jean was quiet too. He looked at Eren with worry in his eyes as he brought him supper after work, he barely spoke as they watched tv together in the evening. Though he did hold Eren tight as they fell asleep; but it only made Eren feel worse about everything. 

Eren didn’t work up the courage to go back to work until Friday. He figured he’d have to face Levi eventually; at least if it was Friday, he’d only have to make it through one day with him. He hoped things would eventually go back to normal, but who knows if it could. 

Levi had confessed to Eren; he had bared his heart and admitted years of denied feelings, only for Eren to reject him without even an explanation. No, things would never go back to how they were. 

“Geez, where have you been?” Floch asked as Eren plopped down into his chair with a silent groan and wish for Floch to fuck off. 

“Sick,” Eren said simply, booting up his computer. 

“I figured you and Levi had run away together,” Floch said with an amused grin. 

“Why would you think that?” Eren asked. 

“Levi hasn’t been here all week either.” Floch said. 

Eren didn’t press. Floch wasn’t exactly the most reliable source, but that didn’t stop his words from making Eren’s head spin. Was Levi okay? Did something happen to him on the way home? Was he avoiding Eren? Should Eren call? Should he give him space? Was he avoiding Eren like Eren had been avoiding him? 

Things would blow over, wouldn’t they? Eren and Levi might not ever get their friendship back, but they could work together at least, couldn’t they? It would be painful at first, but they would get over it. Eren had gotten over the pain of being near Levi once before, he could do it again. Could Levi? 

As it turned out; no Levi couldn’t get past it. Eren learned that afternoon after overhearing Darius speaking to a temp agency on the phone, that Levi had quit without notice and a new receptionist was needed immediately. Levi wasn’t using sick days, or taking an impromptu vacation; he had left completely in order to get as far away from Eren as possible. 

Eren’s heart dropped in his chest. He felt sick to his stomach. He had hurt Levi more than he could have possibly imagined. How could he have done this? Why had he done this? 

He had allowed himself to fall in love with Levi again when he knew he shouldn’t have. He had gotten attached when he knew it was wrong. It was supposed to be fine, Eren was the only one that was supposed to be hurt. He had been okay with that; he could handle the pain. 

This was unacceptable. Pulling Levi into his mess, hurting him in the process; that was far worse than any pain Eren had endured from his one-sided love. The fact that he had fallen in love with Levi again in the first place was unacceptable. He was a fool to think he could get away with it without hurting anyone but himself. 

He had to fix this. Even if he ended up completely alone – which he deserved for what he had done – he was going to fix it. Starting with Jean; he was going to tell him everything, no matter how difficult. He just had to figure out how. 

Eren left work early that day, with an excuse that he was still under the weather. Hoping it would give him enough time to think of what to tell Jean before his boyfriend came home. 

He was not expecting for Jean to be there already. 

“Eren!” Jean shouted over the noise of the vacuum, eyes wide in surprise, “You’re home early!” 

“So are you,” Eren said skeptically, eyes moving from the vacuum to the wrapped bouquet of flowers sitting on the coffee table, “What’s going on?” 

“Just thought I’d make a special evening for you. You’ve been having a rough week,” Jean said, turning off the vacuum. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Eren said, a small smile tugging at his lips as Jean slipped his hands around Eren’s waist and pulled him closer. 

“I know, but I wanted to. I love you,” Jean smiled. 

“I love you too,” Eren whispered, laying his head on Jean’s chest as the taller man held him. Eren’s stomach twisting and his heart breaking over what he had to do. How could he tell him when he had done all of this for him? All because Eren had been upset all well. 

That just made everything worse. Eren was upset because of his love for another man and Jean was treating him like a prince. Eren didn’t deserve it. Jean didn’t deserve it! He was too great of a person to have a boyfriend who was always thinking of another man. 

He had to tell him... but maybe one more night wouldn’t hurt. One last special night before Jean inevitably hated Eren forever. 

“Alright, you go relax while I finish up, then we can have a special, relaxing night together,” Jean said, kissing the top of Eren’s head before pulling away. Eren nodded, trying to keep a happy look on his face despite the anguish building up inside of him, as he headed to the bathroom to take a shower. 

Jean had thought of everything. 

He had bought Eren’s favorite flowers, ordered Eren’s favorite food, he lit candles, and even spread rose petals over the bed. It was corny and over the top but Jean was always corny and over the top when it came to romance; it just made Eren smile – or it did when he wasn’t feeling so incredibly guilty. 

“Did you enjoy your evening?” Jean asked as the two cuddled together on the couch, watching a movie. 

“It was perfect, thank you,” Eren smiled, lifting his head to smile up at Jean. 

“Good,” Jean smiled back. “Eren, I need to tell you something,” he added, almost nervously. 

“What is it?” Eren asked, sitting up to face him; his stomach knotting again over what Jean could possibly want to talk to him about. 

Did Jean know about Eren’s feelings for Levi? Did he know they kissed?? Was Jean going to confess his love for Marco? Had Jean cheated on Eren with Marco? Eren had no idea what to expect but he knew this conversation needed to happen – as much as he was dreading it. 

“Eren, we’ve been together for a long time,” Jean said, holding Eren’s hands in his own and looking into Eren’s eyes. 

“Yes, we have,” Eren said nervously. 

“We’ve been through a lot together. Good and bad, but mostly good, don’t you think?” Jean smiled. 

“It’s been really great,” Eren agreed, feeling himself well up at the thought of what was coming. 

“I love you Eren, I’d like to spend the rest of my life with you,” Jean said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small ring box. “Will you marry me?” 

Eren gasped quietly, starting wide eyed between the beautiful white gold ring and Jean’s nervous smiling face. Of all the ways this evening could have gone, this was not at all how Eren thought it would go. 

Jean wanted to marry him? Jean was in love with Marco, wasn’t he? Has Eren misread everything? Did he assume Jean felt that way to make himself feel better over his feelings for Levi? Had he wanted Jean to fall in love with someone else so Eren wouldn’t seem so terrible? 

He couldn’t do this. Jean deserved so much better than Eren had given him. He deserved someone who loved him with his whole heart, who would treat him like a treasure. He deserved someone who wouldn’t hesitate to say yes to his proposal. 

“I... I can’t” Eren whispered, the confusion spreading over Jeans face, stabbing Eren in the heart. 

“You can’t?” Jean whispered. 

“Jean, I am so sorry,” Eren said, tears beginning to fall from his eyes in streams. 

“Why?” Jean asked 

“I just can’t... you deserve so much better,” Eren said. 

“I don’t believe that, Eren tell me what’s wrong,” Jean said, his voice calm and patient – once again, more than Eren deserved. 

“I kissed Levi,” Eren admitted, quietly, bracing himself for the blowup.   


Jean didn’t blow up. He stayed quiet for a long moment, looking down at the floor as he processed the new information, until finally asking, “When?” 

“The night of the football game,” Eren said. 

“Did you do anything else?” Jean asked. 

“No! I couldn’t do anything else. Not with you waiting for me. Trusting me. I’m so so sorry,” Eren cried. 

“Are you in love with him?” Jean asked quietly. 

“I am,” Eren sobbed, dropping his head into his hands as Jean shifted closer and wrapped an arm around Eren’s back. 

“I thought so,” Jean sighed. 

“I’m sorry. You’re better off without me, you deserve so much better,” Eren said. 

“That’s not true,” Jean said, closing the ring box and laying it on the coffee table and turning back to Eren before taking a deep breath. “I’m still in love with Marco.” 

Eren’s head shot up, looking at Jean with wide eyes, “You are?” 

Jean nodded sadly. “I’ve been fighting it. I don’t want to be in love with him while I’m with you.: 

“I’ve been doing the same thing,” Eren said quietly. 

“Why are we doing this?” Jean asked, putting his arm around Eren and pulling him closer. 

Eren laid his head against Jean’s shoulder, “I guess we just never stopped loving them.” 

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t love you,” Jean said, eyes filled with sincerity as he looked into Eren’s. 

“I love you too, that was never up for debate,” Eren promised, “But maybe we were just never meant to be.” 

“You know what? I think we were meant to be together,” Jean said after a long pause, “I think we were meant to be to be together, even if it was just to help each other while we waited for our true loves.” 

Eren looked up at Jean and smiled; no matter what happened Jean was and would always be one if the best people he knew. He hoped more than anything that they could still know each other after this. 

“I like that idea much better,” Eren said. 

“So do I,” Jean smiled, leaning in to kiss Eren’s forehead. 

“I guess this is it then...” Eren said. 

“Of our romantic relationship, yeah I guess it is. It’s not fair to either of us to stay together when we are both in love with other people. But I don’t want this to be the end of us. Do you think we could still be friends?” Jean asked. 

“I would like that,” Eren smiled. 

“Good,” Jean smiled back. 

“Now, tell me what happened between you and Levi so I can help.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're finally getting somewhere!
> 
> Please tell me what you think <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, I do still exist! I'm sorry it's been so long since an update. Especially for the very last chapter.
> 
> I've never abandoned a fic before but I came pretty close to giving up on this one.
> 
> It had nothing to do with the low popularity of this one, there are a few of you who have enjoyed it and honestly that's all that matters to me.  
> I'm just not myself lately... or anymore... I'm not sure
> 
> Anyway, I finally found a spark of inspiration and motivation to finish.  
> It could probably be much better than it is but I hope you like it anyway. 
> 
> The boys are finally together in any case and I even added some fluffy smut at the end.
> 
> Please enjoy!

Eren and Jean spent the entire night talking. 

They talked about everything; from how Eren met Levi to Marcos face when Jean told him about the ring. Eren had been right all along, Jean had been dealing with the same turmoil that he had. They both wanted to hold on to the relationship they had built together despite being in love with other people.

Their relationship wasn’t going anywhere, it was just going to change a little.

“Do you think it’s too early to call?” Jean asked, chewing on his microwave breakfast burrito as he lay spread out over the couch.

“What time is it?” Eren asked, rubbing his sleep deprived eyes and shifting out of his position of limbs dangling over the arms of the chair and reaching for his phone.

“6:30... early but forgivable? Eren asked.

“I’m going to call him,” Jean said, wiping his hands and picking up his phone before looking at Eren with a soft look, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Eren asked.

“Everything. For talking this out with me, for understanding,” Jean smiled.

“I can say the same thing about you,” Eren smiled back, “Now go get him.”

“You’re really something Eren, and Levi can see it too. It’s going to be fine,” Jean said.

“I hope so. Now focus! You’re wasting time,” Eren insisted.

Jean chuckled, dialing Marco’s number and getting up to walk to the other room; Eren listening to the fading one-sided conversation.

“Hey I’m sorry to wake you.”

...

“No? You couldn’t sleep either?”

...

“Look Marco, about the proposal... no wait, don’t congratulate me. We’re not engaged.”

…

“Because I’m still in love with you...”

…

“You do?”

Eren poked his head in the kitchen when he heard the quiet sob, smiling at the puffy, watery eyed Jean with a smile. Jean caught his eye and gave a happy nod before Eren headed toward the bedroom to give Jean some privacy.

“Hey Levi,” Eren said after the much too familiar voicemail tone, “I know you’re still upset with me; I deserve it. I’m an idiot. But you were right about everything. Please call me back. I love you, I never stopped.” His voice quivering at the end as he tried to hold it together.

He had left Levi multiple messages and texts already but Levi hadn’t responded to any of them. The calls were going straight to voicemail, so either Levi’s phone was turned off or Eren’s number had been blocked. 

Eren had to see him; he had to speak to him, tell him everything, hold him in his arms and kiss him like he had wanted to since he was 13 years old; without guilt, without thinking of other things, other people, other obligations. He wanted to kiss Levi with the full attention and passion that Levi deserved.

He just hoped he wasn’t too late to beg for forgiveness.

An hour later, Eren found himself on the front step of Levi’s house; taking a deep breath and knocking on the door with muted urgency, hoping that a sleeping Kuchel wouldn’t hear him. He knew it was too early on a Saturday morning to be knocking on someone’s door, but this was too important to wait, Eren couldn’t risk losing his chance to fix thing with Levi. To see that beautifully shy smile directed at him one more time.

Knocking a second time, Eren held his breath. Was Levi asleep? Was he even home? Was Eren a fool for even trying? No, definitely not. He might be a fool for thinking he could fix things, but he couldn’t live with himself if he didn’t at least try.

Relief washed over him as Levi stepped up to the glass window of the door; however, it was short lived as Eren noticed the dark circles under Levi’s eyes and the pain within them. He loathed being the cause of that pain and would spend the rest of his life working to never see it again.

“What are you doing here?” Levi asked quietly, refusing to meet Eren’s eyes.

“I came to apologize,” Eren said.

“Okay, thank you. Goodbye,” Levi said, quickly pushing the door closed, though not quickly enough before Eren blocked it.

“Levi, please,” Eren said, tears beginning to fall from his eyes as his heart squeezed painfully in his chest.

“I can’t do this Eren, I have to be at the airport in three hours,” Levi said, his voice trembling lightly and eyes still trained on the doorframe.

“I love you,” Eren sobbed and Levi finally looked up into his eyes, though more out of shock and a fresh wave of pain that visibly washed over his face. “Please talk to me,” Eren added in a whisper.

Levi stared at Eren for a long moment, obviously conflicted and rightfully so. Eren didn’t deserve Levi’s time after what he had put him through, but he hoped with everything he had that Levi’s heart would win over his head.

“Come in, my mom is asleep so be quiet and make it quick,” Levi said, stepping aside to let Eren in.

Eren entered quickly, not saying a word until they were in Levi’s bedroom. It looked almost identical to the last time Eren had been there, all those years ago. Except for the suitcases laying open on the end of Levi’s bed.

“Where are you going?” Eren asked, eyes roaming over Levi’s neatly packed clothes.

“Back out west with Erwin,” Levi said simply.

“Why?” Eren asked painfully.

“Say what you need to say, I need to finish packing,” Levi said, his voice cold.

Eren nodded, taking a seat on the side of the bed and taking a deep breath for courage, “I’m sorry.”

“Is that it?” Levi asked harshly. The words cutting Eren deep, though he knew it was just Levi’s way of protecting himself.

“No,” he shook his head, “I messed up bad. I was too scared to admit I had fallen in love with you all over again. Then I was too afraid to let go of the life I had for fear I would lose everything. I was too stupid to see that the risk of losing everything was nothing compared to losing you.”

Levi’s features softened; though he still wouldn’t look Eren in the eye, his body language became more receptive as he uncrossed his arms and leaned lightly against his dresser so Eren continued.

“Levi, I have loved you from the very moment I saw you. Through the bus window on my first day of eighth grade. This is going to sound  hella cheesy, but you walked onto that bus and straight into my heart,” Eren said, his cheeks tingling with a smile from the light giggle Levi let out.

“You’re an idiot,” He mumbled, failing to hide his own smile.

“I really  really am,” Eren agreed, feeling much lighter than he had a moment ago.

“Don’t make me laugh, I’m still upset with you,” Levi glared, with very little malice.

“I know, and I will never stop being sorry for hurting you. You put yourself out there for me and I rejected you. The thing I’ve wanted most since I was thirteen years old and when offered, I hesitated and ruined everything,” Eren explained, “I am so unbelievably sorry.”

“It wasn’t all you,” Levi said after a deep exhale. “I pretty much gave you an ultimatum and when you rejected me, I was as embarrassed as I was hurt. I didn’t want you to cheat on Jean with me, but I know that’s how it came out. I reacted poorly and I’m sorry too,” Levi explained.

“You don’t need to be. You were just looking out for me, I know that,” Eren insisted.

“Did you break up?” Levi asked quietly, laying a hand gently on Erens thigh as Eren nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? It’s for the best,” Eren smiled.

“Breakups are always hard, aren’t they? When did it happen?” Levi asked.

“Last night.”

“Did he cheat on you?”

“No, he proposed actually,” Eren said unable to help the amusement he felt by Levi’s shocked expression; looking like his brain was about to short circuit in the most adorable way.

“I know how our relationship must have looked for the past few months, especially after Jean and Marco reunited. It was undeniable they had unresolved feeling and clearly, you and I did too,” Eren began.

“Jean was going through as much turmoil as I was. He treasured the relationship we had built together as much as I had, we helped each other through the pain of losing the ones we loved most. When those loves reappeared in our lives, neither one of us knew how to handle it. It felt like I was betraying him by falling for you again, I fought so hard. But in the end, we were never meant to be together forever; just until our soulmates returned to us. He proposed because he thought it was the right thing to do, just like I thought rejecting you was the right things to do.” 

“I’m sorry for doubting him,” Levi said.

“Don’t be,” Eren smiled. “You were partially right anyway; he did want to be with Marco. Pretty sure they are reconciling right now. I’m just sorry it took us so long to realize and that I caused you so much hurt on the way.”

“I hurt you too. First actually,” Levi said sadly.

“When we were children. That was such a long time ago and we’ve been through so much since, you need to forgive yourself for that,” Eren insisted.

“I loved you! None of this would have happened if I had admitted that to myself and not worried about what stupid teenagers thought of me. We could have been together all these years,” Levi explained.

“That would have been wonderful, but I also think all of this pain we’ve gone through on our way back to each other just makes it sweeter now that we’ve finally made it... At least, if you’ll have me.” Eren said, looking deep into Levi’s eyes.

Levi’s face flushed while he rolled his eyes to cover it, “You really are an idiot.”

“I really  really am,” Eren laughed, placing a finger beneath Levi’s chin and lifting until their lips met.

It was everything he had ever wanted, everything he had dreamed of, except this time the weight of guilt had lifted. He wasn’t doing anything wrong; there were no conflicted feelings, no argument between his head and his heart. Only Levi’s lips on his and a sense that this was exactly where he was supposed to be.

“I love you,” Levi whispered, breaking the kiss and looking up into Eren’s eyes. “I don’t think I said in in present tense.”

Eren smiled widely at Levi, his heart bursting with adoration for the petite man who had consumed his thoughts for nearly two decades. “You have no idea how happy it makes me to hear those words coming from you. I never dreamed this would actually happen, or that I would ever get the chance to hold you in my arms and kiss you breathless.”

“Well, it’s happening,” Levi said, climbing onto Eren’s legs and wrapping his arms around Eren’s neck, “But you’ve yet to kiss me breathless.” He added, with a challenging tone.

Never one to back down, Eren pulled Levi into a deep kiss, filled with burning passion and every ounce of love for Levi that had been accumulating since the day they met. Levi kissed back with equal measure, pushing Eren back onto the bed and straddling his waist as they lost themselves in each other.

Though reality came crashing back as Eren rolled them over into Levi’s open suitcase. Breaking the kiss, he looked between Levi’s beautiful face and his packed belongings. “You’re leaving.” a statement, not a question.

Levi stilled as realization dawned on him, “I am. I’m supposed to be at the airport in a couple hours.”

“When are you coming back?” Eren asked as they both sat up on the bed.

“It’s a one-way ticket,” Levi whispered, looking up unto Eren’s eyes. “I’m supposed to start a job on Monday, Erwin called in a favor.” he explained.

Eren felt his heart break all over again. Was he really going to get this close only to lose everything? Could he ask Levi to stay? Their relationship had been years in the making, but truthfully it had barely even started. Would it be wrong to expect him to stay?

“Can we do long distance?” Eren asked, his eyes filling with tears at the mere thought of Levi being so far away but there was no way he could let him go completely, not after everything.

Levi watched him quietly for a long moment, his brow wrinkled in thought and his dark gray eyes staring into Eren’s soul as if looking for an answer. 

“How much do you love me?” he finally asked softly.

“More than anything in this life,” Eren answered without hesitation.

“We’ve been in a relationship for ten minutes; how do we know it’s going to last?” Levi asked.

“Because with everything we’ve been through, we are finally together and I absolutely cannot lose you again. You are my soulmate, Levi. We’re meant to be,” Eren insisted.

“If I stay here with you...”

Warmth spread through Eren’s entire body at the sound of those words leaving Levi’s lips. He would have happily done long distance until they could sort everything out, but the thought of Levi staying here with him... Eren finally being with Levi in the way they were supposed to be...

Eren shifted closer, taking Levi’s petite hands in his and lifting them to his lips, “Then I will spend the rest of my life proving it was the best decision of yours.”

Levi’s eyes stared into Eren’s for a long moment; quietly contemplating as Eren watched the rest of their lives swirl in the stormy gaze. There was nothing Eren would not do for the man beside him; Levi’s happiness and their happiness together was all that mattered and he would keep his promise until his last breath. 

As thought Levi could feel Eren’s thoughts; his decision was made. Levi threw himself into Eren’s arms, pulling Eren’s face towards his own and kissing him with more passion than Eren had ever felt.

Eren felt tears streaming down his face as he returned the kiss, holding Levi tightly in his arms with a silent promise to never let him go.

“Why are you crying?” Levi whispered, breaking the kiss but spreading light  butterfly kisses over Eren’s cheeks as he wiped away his tears.

“I’m just so happy,” Eren smiled. 

Levi smiled back; a big, uninhibited smile, that Eren was sure no one but him had ever seen and it was the most beautiful thing he ever would.

“I have to make a call,” He said, resting his head on Eren’s shoulder.

“Now?” Eren laughed

“I have to tell Erwin I won’t make my flight. He bought the ticket,” Levi explained, pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing while refusing to leave Eren’s arms.

…

“How did...”

….

“Yes, he’s here with me now”

…

“What do you mean finally?? I never told you I was in love with him!”

…

Eren couldn’t help but laugh as he watched Levi’s cheeks turn from their normal pale to bright pink as he spoke to his brother. It seemed from the one-sided conversation that Erwin knew a lot more than Levi thought he did.

Levi shot him a glare as he quickly finished up the conversation and ended the call.

“He bought an open-ended ticket so he just has to reschedule the flight to another time. Apparently, he knew I couldn’t leave you again. Despite the fact that I never fucking told him I had feelings for you. Turns out he knew since High School,” Levi explained.

“I always liked your brother,” Eren chuckled.

“A lot of people like him, he’s handsome and charming,” Levi rolled his eyes playfully.

“True, but he doesn’t hold a candle to you,” Eren said, pushing Levi back down onto the bed to ravish him slowly, without the previous time limit.

Levi laughed, wrapping his arms around Eren’s neck once more and kicking the open suitcase off the bed, “I’ll pick it up later,” he whispered, pulling Eren down into a kiss.

Eren decide not to ruin the moment by drawing attention to Levi’s obsessive nature and instead, lost himself in Levi; his taste, his smell, his feel. Eren couldn’t help but slip his fingers beneath Levi’s t-shirt, feeling the soft, smooth skin. Everything about this man was perfect, and Eren would never have enough.

They soon found themselves shirtless. Eren wasn’t sure if it was him or Levi who had initiated the action, but the thought was long forgotten with the feel of Levi’s skin on his own. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Eren whispered, eyes roaming over Levi; his kiss swollen lips, creamy skin, wiry muscles, and the small trail of hair leading down below his sleep pants, that Eren was sure was there for nothing more than to tease him.

“You’re beautiful,” Levi countered, his fingers travelling over Eren’s body softly; feeling the dips and curves of his muscles, combing through the tufts of hair on his chest, while hungry eyes following the movement. Eren shivered when Levi’s fingers reached the waistband of his jeans; moving lightly over the skin just below. 

“I’ve never done this with a man,” Levi said with quiet nervousness.

“That’s okay,” Eren smiled, laying back down on the bed beside him, “We can take our time.”

“We’ve waited years for each other, I think we took our time,” Levi said, leaning up to connect their lips once more as he finally opened the button of Eren’s jeans and pushed them over his hips, 

“Wait, should we do this with your mother home?” Eren asked.

“I lied, she’s on a women’s retreat with your mom,” Levi explained.

“Right, she mentioned that. Guess I had too much on my mind this morning,” Eren smiled.

“What’s on your mind now?” Levi asked, biting his lip seductively.

“Just you,” Eren grinned, pulling Levi back into his arms.

He still couldn’t believe it was actually happening, even as Levi lay beneath him completely bare and gorgeous. He took his time burning the image into his head, making sure to remember every detail, every feeling of this moment forever. 

“There’s some lube in the night stand,” Levi said, cheeks flushing pink as Eren lifted a brow in surprise. “I’ve never been with a  guy; doesn’t mean I haven’t tried by myself.”

“That is insanely hot,” Eren breathed, the image of Levi pleasuring himself sending all of Eren’s blood straight to his groin.

“I always think of you when I do it,” Levi whispered, running his hands down Eren’s sides as he reached for the bottle.

“H-how often?” Eren stammered, his throat going dry as he willed himself not to explode.

“A lot,” Levi said, slipping his fingers around Eren’s pulsing erection and stoking slowly.

“What do I do I these fantasies?” Eren asked with a low grown, eyes closing as the pleasure washed over him.

“You hold me like you’ve been doing, kiss me until I can’t breathe, touch me in places that I’ve never been touched, then fill me up with so much pleasure I can’t help but scream your name,” Levi explained, his firm grip continuing to stroke at the agonizing slow pace, bringing Eren so close to the edge he had to grab Levi’s wrist and pull him away before he came all over them both.

“Well then,” He choked, “Let me make it a reality.”

Eren kissed every inch of Levi’s body he could reach as he prepared him, the urgency of his lips conflicting with the gentle stretching of his fingers; clearly driving Levi wild. The noises falling from Levi’s lips like music to Eren’s ears; music he hoped to hear many times in the future.

He had always known that anyone who said Levi never showed emotion was wrong, Levi was easy to ready if you knew what to look for; but in this moment, Levi was an open book. Everything he was feeling was shown on his face; pleasure, love, happiness. Expressions meant only for Eren, that no one else would ever see, and Eren would treasure them for as long as he lived.

He sat up when Levi was ready, pulling the smaller man onto his lap and whispering gentle promises into his ear while Levi lowered himself onto Eren. Levi’s body so tight around him, causing both to groan at the feeling. 

“I love you,” Eren whispered, kissing away the discomfort from Levi’s face. He tried to move them into a more comfortable position, but Levi insisted on this one; moving slowly until he was fully seated and cradled into Eren’s arms.

“How I always imagine us,” Levi said and Eren’s heart melted; pulling him close and just holding him until he was adjusted and ready to continue.

It was the best sex of Eren’s life. Not that he had had bad experiences before, but this was different. This was  _ Levi _ . His first crush, his true love, the one he had always been meant to be with. 

It was slow and gentle; calm and perfect in every way. 

There was time later for wild passion and desperate love making. Eren looked forward to when he would rip off Levi’s clothes and ravish him like a man starved. When he would make Levi scream so loud the neighbors would shut their windows and scoff in hidden jealousy. 

For now, they just felt each other, learned each other's body and allowed the years of love and need release in the slow movements, immersing them in pure ecstasy. Even with the slow movements, Eren never came so hard in his life and he imagined, by the cry of his name from Levi’s lips; Levi hadn’t either.

“I love you, Eren.” Levi whispered as they lay boneless on the bed, catching their breath.

Eren pulled Levi’s back into his chest, holding him tight, “I love you too.”

He would never tire of hearing those words coming from Levi; he still couldn’t believe they actually were.

It had taken 15 years for Eren and Levi to find their way to each other. There had been many struggles along the way, but it was all worth it in the end. The connection they had created throughout it all would only prove to strengthen their relationship. 

After all, falling in love is the easy part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I hope you liked it, even with the over the top EreJean  
> (which wasn't supposed to be so intense, it just got away from me)
> 
> Please let me know what you think, I would love to hear from you <3


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